Superfloppers

Last summer we splurged and rented someone's pool thanks to Swimply, which is kind of like Airbnb for pools.  There are a few pools on Swimply in the KC metro area that allow dogs, so that's where the splurge comes in.  Robert and I pay very little to swim about once a week at a couple different public pools, but sadly no dogs are allowed.  

Our last goldens, Rose and Ella, thought they needed to rescue us anytime we went swimming with them.  Nothing could convince them otherwise.  Unless we were sitting in a creek with them, it always turned into too much stress for everyone.  Margo and Josie, however, are completely the opposite.  In fact, if they get tired swimming, they come right to us and let us hold them while they take a break.  Yes, there were stairs and a shallow place for them to rest, but that would defeat the purpose of having humans.

After last year's experience, it was at the top of our bucket list this year, and we invited a friend and his kids to come swimming too.  Both dogs and kids were really thrilled to just be hauled around on the giant raft, and Margo and Josie were convinced the kids were going to their best friends ever.  Both kids just started swim lessons, but after about ten minutes in the pool, you would have never guessed it.  They were swimming like pros!  Did Margo and Josie ever realize that the kids were just learning how to swim though?  Nope!  They were completely oblivious.  If you ever need a dog to rescue you for any reason, these two dogs are not it!  

some thug muffin for you

Thanks to Brief Wilderness for publishing Ella (One) and Gray!

It is bittersweet to see a poem about my Ella Bella get published.  Would she have cared or even listened to me read it?  Nope!  I miss that ornery thug muffin.  

This does give me the opportunity to continue showing off her loveliness, which I will do until I die.

Oh and yes, there's another poem, Gray.  It's a good poem too.  If you open it on your phone, the format does a funky and 'moisture' gets its own line.  That's for all you fans of the word, 'moist.' 😜

Roadkill Revisited

A poem of mine, Roadkill, which was published in Slippery Elm's 2019 edition, is available in their web archive. 

My golden lovelies, Rose and Ella, make an appearance in this poem. I'll never forget the memory of the poem. When I worked at a closer library branch Rose and Ella would join me on my walk to work sometimes, and I would call the taxi aka Robert whenever they became tired or on the rare mornings when they made it all the way (this was in their old lady years) . Our walks only happened when the taxi was available. We saw lots of strange things on those walks, but the "roadkill" was the strangest. I think we were all on edge as we approached it. And boy did I laugh like a maniac when we finally got a good look at it!

I giggled the entire time I discharged books that morning because of Rose and Ella's reactions to the roadkill as we approached it. When I went to lunch I quickly jotted down the first draft of the poem.

Needless to say, when I told Ella one of my poems about her had been published she just gave a big sigh and went back to sleep.

Monkey Retrievers

I think it's fair to say we've run out of ways to entertain ourselves around here. Thankfully Margo and Josie are full of ideas. 

Rose and Ella were choosy about textures. They didn't like walking on plastic or rubber and were so terrified of the ramp that led up to the self-service dog bath, we just had to lift them into the bath like the 90 pound princesses they were. Ella thought it was great fun to be lifted gently into her bath by her royal subjects. Rose flailed around like we were going to drop her at any second.

Any time Margo and Josie see a playground they nearly lose it. They want to run over every part of it, jump off every ledge, and now their enthusiasm has even given them the confidence to try the previously-dreaded slide. Margo will actually slide down the slide just like a child will. Josie will start to slide and then make a spectacular leap when she's had enough. It is one of the funniest things ever. I've been laughing too hard to take a proper video but hope to soon.

When Josie saw a child in a tree a few days ago she actually started climbing the tree! Fortunately the child thought it was hilarious and we were able to stop Josie before she got too far. 

There is no such thing as a dull day around here. 

Until we meet again

Yesterday we said goodbye to one of the best and funniest friends I've ever had. Ella just simply couldn't stand up anymore, not even to go potty. The pain pills that the vet prescribed didn't make any difference and over the course of about 48 hours Ella lost the use of her back legs. Robert called the place that Rose went to at the end of her journey, and verified we could be in the room with her. It was the same room where we said goodbye to Rose just over two years ago. Robert said he wouldn't be surprised if Rose waited patiently those two and a half years so she could be there for Ella and give her crap when she passed on.

Ella would have turned 13 today. 

I've had some good buddies in my day, both furry and human, but Ella is at the very top of my list. After Rose picked her out - out of dozens of dogs we visited - and carried her by the scruff of her neck to the car (this is the best Ella story), I wasn't sure I trusted Rose's opinion anymore. Ella was a complete jerk from day one. For the first three years of her life I kept trying to convince Robert to find her a new home. She ate about half of my shoes, all the base boards in our last home, and once, an entire box of $50 chocolates. 

While I was trying to get rid of her, something magical was happening. I remember trying to keep an eye on her every second she was out of her kennel, in the hopes of salvaging a few of my belongings I'm sure. For example, whenever I did laundry I plopped her in the basket first, dumped the dirty clothes on her and carried her to the basement. She would run around and eat spiders while I washed and folded laundry and when I was done, I would dump her back into the basket with the clean laundry. I carried her around in that damn basket for the first year of her life, and before I knew it, I found myself liking her sometimes. I couldn't help but be amused by her antics, her kiss-my-ass personality. She did as she pleased and enjoyed life to the fullest. It was tough not to be a little jealous of that kind of attitude. Rose came into our lives about as perfect as a dog can be. We were told repeatedly (and still get told repeatedly) that golden retrievers are the best dogs. Well here was this was puppy with the death glares and the horrid behavioral problems who appeared to be proving everyone wrong.

Before I knew it Ella had a hold on me. And perhaps due to my admiration or amusement she became a fan of me as well. She loved all of her admirers. And who knows, she may have had similar opinions of me - "well, here's this loud, obnoxious human who's always yelling at me, but she's kind of funny and hateful some times. I can appreciate that."

I wanted to call her Eloise. And though Robert immediately vetoed that, she was always a bit of an Eloise to me - a proper-sounding name that can turn white trash in the blink of the eye (my apologies to those of you named Eloise). She eventually became Thug Muffin (due to her tough exterior and sometimes, soft interior). She was also Ezzy Bez, Butternut Squash, and a few other cutesy names. One of the names she earned with age and wisdom was White-Faced Ghost Killah. A couple goofy things she did encouraged the rest of her nicknames. Whenever she flopped down, she would find the most unladylike ways to do so - mostly flat on her back, sometimes with only her butt in your face. Then she would give you The Stare. The Come Pet My Belly Stare. Because of this we started calling her a ho, which led to Skanky Doodle Dandy, Hootie and the Ho Fish (90s music has robbed a significant amount of my brain cells), and other unflattering nicknames. Most of the time she wasn't Ella. She was simply Skank.

If you click on this picture you can see that it didn't matter where she was. She made herself comfortable.

I have been immensely impacted by her zest for life. She went after everything with more gusto than one would think possible for a beefy golden retriever. She wasn't graceful in most things, only in the things she was passionate about. She went from Rug of Love (another nickname) to Furry Warrior with a Helicopter Tail whenever a ball was involved. She tore through lakes, creeks, lawns, fields, and swimming pools like the wind coming to life. When she went tearing after a ball I couldn't help it. I wanted my passion for life to be exactly like that. She gave everything she loved 100% and when she was tired she took a break and plopped herself down just exactly the way she wanted to. 

She was also my protector. I could be standing on the other side of the house, spot a spider, and before I made so much as a squeak, she would be right there next to me. This became both a little more sad and a little bit funnier as she grew older. The last couple times I spotted a spider I would hear her labored steps as she slowly click-clacked her way across the house to come give that spider some old lady whoop ass. Ella would also magically appear any time I was in tears or near tears. I truly believe she could smell my pain. Though she wasn't one for snuggles, she would come find me, squeeze herself next to me, and thrust her bony old-man elbows into my thighs before settling in. It was as if she thought she could vacuum some of the pain away with her body, and that's exactly how it felt.

She was my shadow, or perhaps more accurately, I was hers. I followed her around like the sun and the moon and the earth and all the planets revolved around her. 

Even as she got older, she stayed true to who she was. Once a jerk face, always a jerk face. In the mornings she would wait until I was settled in and eating breakfast before making her way out of the bedroom, ready for her morning routine. She would even give me a look like, "are you comfy yet?" Because I often had breakfast on our couch I figured out how she knew I was just getting settled in and decided to be sneaky. Before I sat down for breakfast I would hit the button for the foot rest, which makes a creaking sound. She would come stumbling out of the bedroom thinking I had settled in with my breakfast and shoot me the dirtiest look like, "You butthead. You tricked me." We had constant wars like this with each other and I doubt I'll meet another creature or person who delights in it as much as she did. 

While she was passing on I wanted to tell her that where she was going was better, that she would get everything her ornery little heart desired, and that she wouldn't be in pain anymore. But I struggled to tell her all this because I'm selfish - once a jerk face, always a jerk face. I still have years of things I want to say to her, years of romping through the woods, and throwing balls caked with slime into swamps filled with slime, years of long walks and ice-cream runs. So I decided to give her an impossible task, one I'm sure she will give 100%. I told her I wanted her to live in doggy paradise. I told her I wanted her to come back and live many more happy lives and bring happiness to as many people and creatures as possible. And most selfishly, I asked her to wait for me.  

Here are a few of my favorite Ella pictures:

Rose teaching Ella how to swim:



The Ella approach to frisbee (and life):



The best kind of nap:





Ordering ice cream at her favorite drive-thru:



Lounging with Rose:



Always hopeful:









The day we picked out her wagon:

turkey-flavored toothpaste cloud of love

Ella seems to be perking up a bit, eating a little more but only with an ungodly amount of encouragement. When she walks she's not struggling as much as she has been. We're picking up a pain pill at the vet's office today. Depending on how she responds to the pain pill we might be making a tough decision soon. But she keeps giving me a few wags and still enjoys the cuddles.

In other news I was so exhausted last night I asked Robert to take care of the dogs so I could go to bed early. I think I was asleep before 8. As I was falling asleep I felt like I was suddenly engulfed in a cloud of turkey-flavored toothpaste (one of the worst smells on the planet) and I also felt a quick flash of drool on my hand that  must have been hanging over the side of the bed. When I woke up this morning I told Robert about it. He said that after the pups went out and had their teeth brushed they came racing into the bedroom. Robert quickly blocked my side of the bed with his body and tried to get the girls to go into their kennels. Like a flash of lightning Margo slipped through his legs and came over to give a stern and exasperated sigh into my face before forgiving me (nudging my hand) and going to bed.

We've talked about how similar Margo is to Rose, but also how Margo doesn't have one mothering bone in her body (which would be appalling to Rose). Even though Margo was upset I messed up our nighttime routine, I think it's possible she also wanted to say goodnight and make sure I was in the room before she went to bed. 

Ella

It's been a bit rocky around here. For several months Ella has been battling a persistent ear infection. We've tried just about everything to clear it up, and finally two weeks ago I was delighted to flip her ear open and discover a clean ear.

But last week she started refusing her pills, which she normally looks forward to with unmitigated exuberance. For most of her life she would greet her loved ones, new friends, and food with a lusty woo-woo-woo. A couple years ago her singing morphed into a few old-lady croaks here and there, and they were mostly for her morning pills.

She's been refusing her pills and stopped eating for a few days, before we landed on a way to get her to eat a bit. Robert has been dumping clumps of canned food into his palm, which goes against everything she's learned about not licking humans ever, and probably why she's enjoying it so much. But she's also struggling even more than usual to stand up and walk. We've consulted our vet , and because Ella is not in any apparent pain and still gives us a wag here and there, we've been told to continue our wait.

She will be 13 in less than two weeks and is slipping away. We've been spending more time than usual burying our faces in her thick coat, coaxing her to eat, helping her get outside, and waiting. When Rose passed away it was quick, we were horribly ill with the flu, and it felt like a suffocating fog that eventually lifted. This is radically different. I find myself waking in the middle of the night so I can place my hand over her heart. I lift her gums, check for pink, and tell her I've got her back no matter what. If she needs to go, I'll miss her but can find a way to stand up to the spiders on my own.

I don't think she believes me, and perhaps she's waiting too. Waiting for me to prove I can make it without her. 

I'll keep everyone posted.

You've got to spread joy up to the maximum

We are doing well! 

Robert and I developed a schedule for Izzy that's helped tremendously. Because her grades were good before spring break she doesn't really need to do anything extra. Her sophomore year is done. But she needs to keep everything she's learned fresh in her mind in addition to continuing the learning itself. Her teachers have been sending her school work and the head of her IEP team has been in constant contact, helping us develop a plan. Robert and I are using a combination of some of her school work with activities we've come up with. We have also transitioned both her primary therapy and the additional therapy and group therapy provided by the county through virtual sessions. We officially have a day-by-day plan for her that we implemented last Wednesday and Izzy's relaxed a bit now that there's structure in her life again. 

Rachel has been slogging through her studies. My office, Robert's office, and Rachel's room are all upstairs. I often peek in her room unless she's in an online class. Chemistry has been tough. I think she was getting a lot of additional help at KU, so that's been a change for her. She does seem to be enjoying one of her design classes and also typography.  I'm enjoying having her at home and definitely feel like I know more about her classes than I did when she was at the university.  Rachel and I also have the same sense of humor, and it's nice to have someone around who laughs at the same stuff I do (mostly we laugh uproariously when random blobs of food hit the floor while we're making dinner). That's the style of humor we have. It goes completely over Izzy's head and Robert just shoots us a stern nerd look. This of course makes whatever silly situation that is happening that much funnier.

Robert's work has slowed a bit now that his clients are set up at home, but he's still working just as much as I am, if not more.  His car broke down just as this was all starting. For a couple years we have been planning on getting new cars but life keeps happening (Europe trip, new child, expanding the nerd business etc.). Because the cost of fixing his car was astronomical we made the decision to purchase a new car. A few months ago Robert also ordered custom desks for his office (a necessary life happening). They were scheduled to be here in May but were delivered last week. So there's been an added layer of chaos with the new shiny things, but we've been enjoying the plethora of desk space in Robert's office for homework, crafting, and library work. I'm sure he'll eventually get his desks back. We've also taken a couple joy rides in the new car, which has offered a nice break (if you call watching all our favorite restaurants struggle to say in business while Robert blares the Pitch Perfect soundtracks a break).

I've been doing well. I've been thoroughly enjoying my library work at home. I miss the patrons and all the interactions with both patrons and coworkers that shapes everything I do, but I've enjoyed spending extra time on projects, brainstorming new ideas/projects, and using my office space (and Robert's) to work on everything while blaring loud rap music (only in my office, which we designed to be mostly sound proof, no joke). I haven't heard a screaming toddler in over two weeks, which is usually my background "music" for work, and it's a nice break. I have been making enormous strides with puppets, slowly learning the ukulele, and leisurely watching videos of amazing people doing extraordinary things with libraries and early literacy. I also have all my side projects and "homeschooling" Izzy to keep me super busy when I'm not librarying.

At the end of the day we all take a long walk with each other and afterwards, settle in with dinner and Star Trek (NG). I'm enjoying my family and am taking it one day at a time. 

Before COVID-19 I walked maybe 1-2 miles each work day and on the weekends, 3-5 miles a day. Now we're walking 2-4 miles most work days and about 5-7 miles on the weekends. It's a great way to casually talk about what's going on with everybody, whereas at dinner it can sometimes feel like an interrogation with Rachel and Izzy.

Occasionally our schedules don't line up and we can't all walk together. The rule is everyone has to take the dogs out every day, even if it's just around the block. This means the dogs are occasionally getting three walks a day. They've been a lot more mellow because of this.

Robert and I have braved the store twice since this started. Both times we had several meal plans in case the store was out of something we needed for a recipe. We are only making tried and true recipes during this time, which is sad for me because I like trying new things. But I am super thankful I began compiling all our favorite recipes in two places a few months ago. I've been scanning/taking pictures of all the recipes we love and also keep them in an official binder. Making meal plans has been super easy because of this. One of our favorite things has been this kale salad recipe I got from a coworker several years ago. We also add pepper and slivered almonds to it. It's amazing and all four of us love it, which is close to a miracle. The only other meal we can all agree on is baked chicken and broccoli. 

We bought all the kale we could find the last time we shopped and tripled the recipe. It's like eating sunshine.

Here is one desk Robert put together and he's hard at work putting the other one together in this picture. With his old desk (which was my grandma's), he now has three desks, which is hopefully enough to put all the computers he's working on (and Izzy's homework and whatever crafting/library thing I'm working on).

Ella has been relishing the extra attention. She loves when Rachel is home. When I come downstairs to take a tea break I usually find Rachel snuggled up with Ella during one of her breaks. Rachel has even fallen asleep this way. Ella likes her quiet time, but loves all the extra love we've been able to smother her with.

new weird normal

It's taken several days, but our family has settled into our new, temporary routine.  

I've been working at home since last week, Robert has been a lot busier helping businesses work from home, and Rachel started her online classes this week. We still don't know if Izzy will be continuing her semester classes online or finishing the semester with her 3rd quarter grades. Last semester she started over with math, which is what I had to do when I started college. It's crazy but true. I started with first grade math and worked my way up to Algebra, which is as far as I needed to make it in order to graduate. I had huge holes in my education, and Izzy's the same way. She is almost finished with second grade math (in addition to wading through high school geometry). A couple weeks ago we were given permission and access to have her start over with English as well as math. She does a few lessons each day and Robert and I help her with the tricky stuff. Other than that, she's largely without things to do. She struggles to entertain herself and is quite social. It's been really tough for her so we're hopeful we can get some online learning of some kind or another set up for her. 

Even though I'm working from home, I've been waking up at my normal time, some time between 5 and 6, and have continued my morning yoga and quick jog with one of the puppies. Before breakfast, Izzy and I usually read a bit of the last book that was assigned to her for her English class, which is Malala. Izzy, Robert, and I have breakfast together and develop a daily plan for Izzy before Robert and I "go to work." One of us wakes Rachel up at 8. She has classes all day two days of the week and then it's very random. She will lay in her bed all day if we don't hassle her. This happened during winter break as well. She's been doing much better this time around, getting up when we ask her to, and participating in family activities. We usually all have lunch together unless one of us needs to keep working. Then we work for a few more hours before I round up whoever is free for an afternoon walk.  One of us makes dinner or heats up leftovers and I usually squeeze in another hour or two of work that's not library work. We have dinner and afterwards Izzy and I usually read a bit more Malala. 

I'm hoping we find out about Izzy's classes here in the next few days. We've also got to make another trip to the grocery store here soon, which I'm dreading, but it's a two-person job and we're out of quite a few things at this point.

What's everyone else doing during this bizarro time? I hope everyone has settled into a new, temporary routine and enjoying the unexpected extra family/pet time.

Here are a few pictures of our new normal:

When we go for walks we try to look for the unusual. My friend, Ann, who's a poet calls these moments her 'haiku moments,' so that's how I now think of them too.

Ella has definitely been enjoying the extra company. She's a big fan of Rachel.

If Rachel's not sleeping whenever I duck my head into her room, there's usually something unexpected going on in there. 

Happy Things

Life has been a little crazy so I've been behind on pictures. I did a bit of organizing today and stumbled across these treasures and wanted to share them.

Izzy officially got braces early in December.

She has been doing a fantastic job taking care of them.  

She also recently started using contacts and is also doing a fabulous job with them. 

When we've had decent weather we've been doing some hiking, and I am so thrilled to be back out in the woods, climbing over things and racing through the trees like an idiot with the dogs and Izzy.

We officially got a mirror in our bathroom last month, and are now saving up for the lights that go above the mirror. Because the lighting is better in our closet, it's where I usually put my makeup on in the morning.

Well, just when you think your dogs can't get any more adorable, they go and melt the heck out of your heart. When I do my makeup in the morning Margo comes in and lies down behind me, usually smooshing herself against me. She's also been doing my morning yoga with me. When I go from standing poses to floor poses her tail starts thumping madly and she'll army crawl her way over until she's squished herself into me. She will also paw at my arms when I do the dead bug exercise or jab one of her toys into me if I've ignored her too long. For awhile I was calling her Margope (rhymes with dope), which has now evolved into what I consider her perfect nickname, Goper. So she has graduated to nickname status like my Ella Bella, aka Thug Muffin.  

Over the holidays Robert's sister was here, and as usual, we had a total blast with her.

We've had a couple snow days and Josie is a big fan. She's still totally crazy, but I can walk her now without hurting my back. I have also been given permission to slowly try jogging, bicycling, and tennis, which has me wishing for better weather. 

We've had a handful of things to celebrate recently - Izzy's successes (school, braces, taking care of herself, just her overall tenacity and positivity in general through the tricky holiday season), my successes (published poems, completing art projects, and feeling comfortable in my body again). My latest triumph has been creating a move and groove library program for littles that will begin this summer and officially submitting the program information for our promotional materials.  Robert's also been doing big things with his business that will hopefully allow him to spend more time with us in the future. I told Robert I wanted to go to our local kitty cafe and cuddle kitties to celebrate all these things. So yesterday Izzy, Robert, and I did just that. We're nowhere close to adopting a cat of our own, sadly, so we couldn't bring one home. I also spent the whole hour with Deetle, who is a permanent resident at Whiskers, the cafe we went to. But we all loved it. Izzy and Robert gravitated toward the playful cats, and zipped all over the place playing with them. We'll definitely be going back and I highly recommend it. If we get to a point in our lives when Robert's face doesn't turn into a faucet whenever he's around cats, the kitty cafe idea seems like a great way to get to spend some time with a cat before adopting. But for now, I can't think of a better way to celebrate all our small victories together.

goldens

Here's a pile of goldens for you.

good kind of crazy

Life has been pretty darn crazy.  Thankfully it's the good kind of crazy.  

I haven't had much time to post so here's all the beautiful things I've been meaning to share:

A barred owl has been hanging out in our backyard. It's a dream come true, one I never thought would happen in the city.  I'm not sure if he is nesting and the nest is nearby or he is simply enjoying the bunny buffet in our backyard.  For whatever reason, the rabbits still haven't learned that our yard is full of scary dogs and have stashed their baby rabbits all over the yard. They're hidden fairly well in pockets of dog-hair nests, but our puppies have discovered them a couple times already.

Whatever the owl's reason for visiting, we're enjoying his company. He doesn't seem to mind the dogs, which are often let loose in the backyard.  I groomed Ella on the deck the other night and he just ignored us.  If a human comes out alone, however, he usually goes higher in the tree.  While grooming Ella, he eventually flew away, and I was a little disappointed.  Suddenly dozens of birds started screaming ohshitohshitohshit in different bird languages and a nearby crow threw a tornado of a tantrum, whipping leaves everywhere.  I knew the owl must have come back. Sure enough, Ella and I eventually spotted the owl, who was giving us withering looks from the power line.

We've all been taking lots of walks, picking up questionable things and smelling all the flowers we can.

There's also been a lot of baths, but the bliss of running free through the slop is totally worth the mess.

Josie sleeps in a kennel in the master bedroom and Margo sleeps in a kennel in Rachel's bedroom. This has been working out great.  Each dog gets some one-on-one time, and I'm beginning to enjoy Josie's over-the-top lovey-dovey personality.

Ella seems to be enjoying the little stinker too.