Wednesday, June 30, 2010


Another fabulous day. I just have the best life yo. The best family. The best lovah. Word. Yesterday I played an hour of singles and took a 2 hour bike ride so today I was less than excited about tennis. I played an hour and a half of doubles though and had a total blast. I've been really on and off lately, and today felt like a little of both. After doubles I still had an hour of singles and let me tell you I was pooped. I was ready to go home and plop with a good book and some tea. But I stayed with it and played aok. I didn't work out afterwards though. No weights so far this week, but I'm ok with that. Screw it. I strongly dislike the gym. I'm trying to do it at home, but it's proving tough because I simply don't want to. Ha! I think if I could go through life without worrying about my weight I would bike and play tennis and do all the yoga moves that don't hurt my wrists. And that's it. I would try other sports, but I would skip all this weight lifting crap. But it's important they say. And I can't complain. I'm lucky to have access to it.

I also got a little bit of packing done. Tomorrow I am going to finish it as best as I can and wash the poops.

I'm getting really excited about the upcoming trip. So much so that I'm having a hard time sleeping. I wake up too early all fluttery and can't go back to sleep.

Tonight Robert's class ended early and he stopped at Whole Foods and picked up my favorite mint tea, fresh almond butter and my favorite pre-made salad (the one with spinach, feta, and strawberries)! Like holy wow what did I do right? So, I'm sure you can guess what I had for dinner. Afterwards he took me out for a banana split (my weekly sugar fling), and it was spectacular.

I can already tell you about the next sugar fling. Remember those Chips Ahoy cookies, the crunchy kind? I haven't been inside a gas station for a long time, but I'm thinking if we're going on the road I should be able to snag one of those little packs. But do they even make them anymore? I don't know, but I am going to have one. And I am going to dunk it in a glass of real milk. I've been thinking about it for awhile now but haven't seen any of the little packs (ok I've been obsessing). Sometimes R will tell me what he thinks about before he goes to sleep: travelling forever with me, having kids in a big country house, going for rides in the truck with the bluegrass station on. And then he asks me what I think about before I go to sleep. And here I am taking the cookie from the package and dunking it in a giant glass of milk. Ok ok while it is clearly evident that my romantic fantasies involve Chips Ahoy cookies I also dearly love Robert, and so I talk to him about a dream house, a dream truck ride, little tots using sharpies to ink up a purple fainting couch, but no matter what, there I am, holding the cookie and the glass of milk.

But way way off the topic.

I can't wait for tomorrow! And then the next day!

Honestly I'm glad to be free.

Monday, June 28, 2010


I haven't felt much like writing or painting lately. But I have been using the extra time wisely. Playing tennis ha! Reading - just finished Dawn Light - holy wow, a brilliant book. I just started The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, and I think I'm going to fall in love with Almodine. I also have been reading a lot of poetry: Glück, Baxter, Jong. Oh I love Erica Jong.

Starting tomorrow I will start packing. Robert, Audrey and I are going RVing for a few weeks (Josh is staying here). And Friday we get the new RV (!!!!). I have a lot to do. In addition to normal packing I have to gather up everything we had in the old RV, the stuff that has been hogging up all the precious room in the basement. I think R has a fear of running out of toilet paper, even RV toilet paper. Is there a phobia for that? Ok just googled it and had a few laughs. You've got to check it out.

And the dogs need baths.

Less than a week though (!).

I had a dream about this song. There were mannequins with boobies and little droopy men with holes in the front of their pants. Of course I looked. C'mon really? And when I did there was a mini-world instead of boxers. And the world was a collage where nothing fit together.

Friday, June 25, 2010

yes I did it again

and I love it.

it's much too hot to have long hair.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

the sky has lost its viscosity


Saturday, June 19, 2010

today's thankful list

* R made me breakfast!
* Paws in the Park with the poops!
* the beautiful storm
* tiny nap
* costco
* the guac burger with the gigantic red pepper slice
* the peaceful bike ride with R
* picking out tea with R
* the miracle person who found R's wallet on a far away rain-soaked street and gathered up the pieces (including the cash), and put it in a bag and left it with an unsigned note on the door. If I could tell you something, miracle person, I would say that I believe.

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I have been very restless

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

new painting

Monday, June 14, 2010

no frowns

I played in my first doubles tournament and totally sucked. I also sucked in singles too. But there's always something to smile about. First, I am proud to say that I stayed positive the whole time. No frowns or negative feelings. We all have crappy days. Second, I conquered my fear of doubles. Hated it a year ago, and now I think I like it. I think I'll do other doubles tournaments. And third, I made losing look good.


And what should a person do when they totally suck? They should get the h out of town. So R and I left Saturday night right after I lost and headed to the lake. To chop down a few more trees, and to have a little fun swimming with the dogs. And let me tell you something. There is something so freaking amazing about swimming with dogs. We were free and goofy and powerful.

We came back last night just in time for ice road truckers and a fantastic storm. Tennis was cancelled this morning so I decided to take the poops for a jog. Today just wasn't their day. They didn't want to jog at all. We jogged walked for awhile until I threw up my hands in defeat. I was already having a frustrating morning, one of those mornings where I feel really disconnected from myself, and I wasn't ready to fight two dinosaurs. I was also looking for the 'clicking moment.' Whenever I get disconnected from myself, whether it's physically, mentally, spiritually or emotionally there is always that moment when I magically reconnect. I call it the clicking moment. Sometimes it's a song, gesture or another person that creates the clicking moment.

Today, after we stopped trying to jog I noticed an elderly man carefully inspecting his lawn. He looked like he was waiting for something to do. Quite possibly he was waiting for his clicking moment too. The dogs immediately bolted for him and unlike the majority of people we see on walks who have babies or strained faces (or both), he pulled the dogs close and made kissy faces with them. For a minute or so the three of them created this little world, and he talked with them, addressing them with genuine interest. Finally he noticed the owner attached to the leashes and said good morning.

We would have never met him if we had been jogging. What a fine click moment! For the rest of the walk I let Ella splash through every puddle and we took our time with every smell.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

all over that shit

So I'm a little wiped, played late tennis, trying to wind down and the boys come home all noisy like. Whooping and talking loudly. Suddenly Josh comes barreling in and shows me his nipple rash he got from sweating. Like wtf is up with boys? I'm like put some diaper rash ointment on it and he just rolled his eyes. Finally he left, hollering to robert about how he was going to cut holes in his shirt for his nipples.

Gross. But seriously kind of funny. I must be tired.

Today was great though. Went to the library, found the items I had on hold and decided not to check out one of the books. I go to check out with the grumpy lady who never smiles, and after I tell her that I don't want the book anymore she scans it and lets out a little ooh ooh! Totally shocked the bananas out of me. This woman who always wears a frown is suddenly smiling and dancing in her seat. "I'm next in line for this book," she sings. Well paint me black and call me pink.

Also took the poops to the poopy park, which is exactly what it smelled like. Of course we drove too fast and listened to the beach boys the whole way. And after I dropped them off at home I grabbed some supper before the gym. As I was paying for my food the guy said are you from Tuck-son Arizona? (I was wearing a Tucson shirt) I'm like Tucson? And he's like yeah! I couldn't get out of there fast enough, and the whole way I'm walking to the door he's still talking to me.

But that wasn't the entire icing on the cake. I still had to go to the gym. I loathe going at night. At night all the hunky, sweaty manly men come out. And it doesn't matter if you have thunder thighs or a mean glare on your face. They will wink and give you disgusting looks. OH! Speaking of thunder thighs, have you seen the Nike ads? HOLY EFFING WOW! Thunder as in my thighs are made out of it, they are supernatural and electric and I will break the sky with them. Kate Chopin and Mary Wollstonecraft would be all over that shit.

But the gym actually went well. I am loving that pretzel ab machine. It's like uh! take that you lazy bellybutton! You know the one I'm talking about, the one where you push your knees into your face. Good machine for aggression.

And then I came home and watched SYTYCD and ate a bowl of life. By myself.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

lorn/alter bridge

I cannot get enough of Grief Machine. I listen to forecast at least 80 times a day. Unfortunately I couldn't find Forecast on youtube. Paradise lost is still hot though.

And white knuckles whoa!

The library book sale!

I have been dreaming of this day for awhile.

People had homemade contraptions: a dolly with three orange crates glued? taped? to it, big black trash bags on a mechanic's creeper, even laundry baskets tied together.

I swore I saw someone wearing a camelpak.

Within an hour I called Robert for backup. I had just made my first trip to the car and still hadn't perused interior design or biographies. But I found a cart and used it instead of Robert. He did take me out for lunch though.

And then I came back.

I think I brought home close to 50 books. And after I took pictures I alphabetized them, found their correct shelves and shelved them. Elation!

Most of the haul:

I've read a few of these before, but did not have copies until now.

Have you read this one mom?

I am slowly building my Berg, Hoffman, Quindlen collection. I have almost all of Hoffman's books now!

And I know how upset you were to discover that I only have one of Kaye Gibbons' books. Well here you go mom. No more bitching!

some good tennis yo

Yesterday I had tennis scheduled twice. Outside. I got in my car, started driving, and the rain began to fall. Thankfully we secured two courts at the club. Ginger (a tennis buddy) and I waited an hour for our court, but as soon as it opened we rushed out there and started to play (well she was 20 minutes late due to the storms). We had only an hour to play and we did not waste a minute of it. At one point I picked up a ball, noticed it was wet and smacked it around for a minute to dry it off. It finally dawned on me that we were playing inside. So I look around and sure enough water is gushing in. We keep playing. The next thing I know I see the owner of the club through the glass window. She is waving her arms frantically. I look at the tv behind her. Tornado warning. I tell Ginger. She doesn't even pause during her serve. That's some good tennis yo.

And who takes tornado warnings seriously around here? I know I'm just throwing eggs at danger, but whoopdedo Katie Horner.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

We finally did it!

And they love it!

Saturday, June 5, 2010

baby rabbits!

Two days ago Ella found a stray baby rabbit in our front yard. We decided to leave it alone. Robert and I agreed that if it was still there and breathing by Saturday that we would find a way to put it out of its misery. That's what we had to do last year unfortunately. Well, like magic, it disappeared yesterday and we stopped thinking about it. Today we let the poops back outside, and as Ella and I played ball Rose found yet another baby rabbit in a different part of the yard. We put them inside and went to inspect. You will not believe this, but some bozo mama rabbit built her nest right dab in the middle of our front yard. We did not touch them or get too close to the nest - don't worry! But R did push back the ball of grass and fluff with a stick, revealing four wiggling little babies. They all appeared fine and healthy so we covered it back up and walked away. The dogs will just have to play ball in the house for the next few days.

all of a sudden

wow, I am excited to wake up again. even for little things like chopping trees all day when it's 90 degrees outside. I thought that the lack of excitement was an age related thing, but no, apparently not. I have been waking up long before the alarm clock, ready to tackle the weeds and dead trees, ready to bike and play tennis. Last week a friend asked if I wanted to be her partner in an upcoming tournament, and I not only said yes I also signed up for singles too. I wasn't even going to touch tournaments this year because I felt like tennis was beating me down, but I'm excited to play and not as concerned about busting balls.

A day after I finished all my course work, the very last of my BA, I loaded up the dogs and took them to the dog park. Once I was there I bolted out of my car, prepared to feel this great elation and fulfillment, and you know what? I felt nothing. Not a gosh darn thing. I was prepared to leap, but the force was not there. Finally, a month later, all of a sudden