Tis the Season

It's that time...

For Spotify Wrapped!  And also Apple Music Replay!

I listen to a lot of music.  I live, breathe, and eat it as does most of my family.  Growing up, one of the best things we did was take turns picking music while doing housecleaning.  Music is quite literally fuel for me.  Not just for housecleaning but also for creating, moving, relaxing, being ok with myself, being ok with not being ok with myself, having a safe place for all emotions, and sometimes all it takes is a certain song to give me strength to step into the day. 

I listen to both Spotify and Apple Music for different reasons.  First, I have spent a lot of time scouring the ends of the universe for music that doesn't exist on either platform.  Seriously!  A recent example was an Aaron Neville CD that had a song on it that didn't exist anywhere - "Jesus is a Friend of Mine."  Dear Spotify and Apple Music, Aaron Neville is a legend  and his gospel music most beautifully highlights his voice.  How do you not know this?  

I get that some artists (ahem Garth Brooks) do not allow their music on one or the other and it gets very complicated.  Thankfully I have CDs of a lot of these artists (ahem Garth Brooks).  

There are also these incredible cds that Northsound put out in the 90s where you hear popular classical and jazz music with loon calls mixed in.  This is also why I still search for CDs anytime I see them at a used bookstore, library sale, or random thrift store.  You know how many times I see a version of a favorite classical song that doesn't exist in Spotify or Apple Music?  I would say about one out of six times it happens.  I don't mind spending hours combing through classical music for unusual versions of songs.  

Another reason I love Apple Music is that I have daily meditations, poetry, and other spoken word mixed in with my music.  Apple Music also allows me to cut out specific parts of songs and manipulate the music depending on my needs.  I don't want to hear "Beluga Heights" at the end of Jason Derulo's Whatcha Say every time I listen to it.  I also have a couple songs where I only like 30 seconds of a ten minute piece.  Sometimes to do this I need to purchase these songs individually, but because it's music, it's always worth it.  

I use Spotify primarily for my monthly playlists, which I usually create with extreme excitement the first day of every month.  The moment I hear a song that lights me up it's dumped in the new month's playlist, and I delete that month from last year.  This means I have only 12 playlists and no distractions for when I need to focus or am feeling a certain mood.  Because of the sheer number of songs I have and the years I've used Apple Music, I have dozens of playlists, and I get easily distracted by them.   

Both Spotify and Apple Music also recommend different music and my weekly lists of new music are always different between the two platforms.  I spend a lot of time both listening to music and searching through music.  It's one of the ways I treat myself when I need some me time.  I sit down and look up something that's recently resonated with me and everything related to it.  One path sometimes turns into miles and miles of music.  And each music platform creates different paths.

Here are my end of the year music stats.  I do hope you share yours with me if you are a fan of Spotify and/or Apple Music!

First up, it looks like I love Spotify and Apple Music equally, which I love to see.  It totally validates why I need both!

Top songs:

Turn It Up is probably the most balancing song for me.  Anytime I felt out of sync this past year it was like a hug from the bass Gods.  I sometimes found myself replicating some of the noises from this song when I was struggling with anxiety.  It's therapy.

I really like Tartarus because it sounds like the song is throwing a rage tantrum, which is a feeling I was quite intimate with the past year or so.  It's so incredibly cathartic.  Do you need to throw a tantrum?  Let this song take care of that for you.  You will feel like you are growing your own calm.

A World of Our Own is just so stinking beautiful I can't even stand it.  The crunchy sound is how I feel when all is right with the world.  It's also just the right pace to take whatever it is you're carrying and do whatever exercise you do until what you're carrying turns into just your heartbeat, that crunchy strength.  

I have loved Spiegel im Spiegel for a very long time.  It's easily in my top twenty favorite songs.  I love all versions of it, and it's one of the few songs I can listen to for hours.  Viktor Orri Árnason's version is my favorite.  The effort, resonance, reflection, and imperfections haven't been stripped away.  It's like what Kendrick Lamar says in his song Humble, " Show me somethin' natural like ass with some stretch marks."  This Spiegel im Spiegel has those stretch marks.  

Come up on My Side - I really don't have a lot to say about this song.  It's like music junk food.  I find it very amusing that the song starts with the word, "shit."  At least I hope that's what the word is, because I laugh every single time.  I have tried to find lyrics for this song, but I'm glad I haven't looked too hard, because it sounds like some questionable things are being said.  

There's a lot of sadness with "Shake and Stop," which was a song I used for spring storytimes, my last storytimes RIP.  Am I sad nothing surpassed it in Apple Music?  Nope!  This was just the dedication and love I had for storytimes shining through.  I used to sing my storytime songs to and from work, memorizing every little detail so that my mind could be freed up for the moments I couldn't plan, the fantastic, unbeatable chaos and energy of so many people uniting in their unique journeys.  

Dread was the song that woke me up and helped me start healing again.  I have only been listening to it since August, and it's the song that gets me going when nothing else will.  

Apashe has been one of my top artists for the past few years.  He's brilliant and takes music to places I've never been to before.  Devil May Cry is a masterpiece.  The build will literally lift your pulse right out of your body.  Right around 2:00 is where your life will probably change, and 2:30 is when you will realize that the song has completely moved into your body.  

Top artists:

Needtobreathe is always in my top artists but never in my top songs.  Do you know why?  Because I love most of their songs and listen to them equally.  Does anyone have any artists like this?

Levi.Sct was a new artist for me this year.  If you like hip hop versions of classical music, he's excellent.  

One of the cutest things about Spotify Wrapped is their artist clips where you can watch your favorite artists say thank you for listening to their music.  This year they did the clips a different way and I really appreciate how you get some of their music and what they're excited about.

songs that keep me afloat

There are a couple songs I play any time I need a reminder to slow down, live in the moment, and not be too hard on myself.



Just about every day I wake up super excited about life. I bolt out of bed, do my morning yoga, and walk the dogs. The whole time my mind is throwing ideas faster than I can catch them. Whether I'm heading to the library for work or working at home, at about 11 I realize I may not be able to get through everything on my list. It's actually pretty rare for me to get through everything on my list, but I always wake up thinking I will. 

This is when I remind myself that this is probably the reason I wake up excited every morning. I'm never finished. I'm always in the middle of something grand. And sometimes, though I'm irritated by it at the time, there are nights I wake up with the answers to the day's problems or a better way to do something that, thankfully, I had to leave unfinished.

Deb Talan's song is good for that midday slump. It's a reminder that I wake up each day in joy, and that my first purpose in life to be present - be a part of life, make connections with others, and stay connected to everything that feeds my enthusiasm for life.

Steffany Gretzinger's song is a reminder to be open to positivity. To sweep away the negativity with deep breaths and be there for myself and others.

 
When all else fails, when I'm feeling overwhelmed and I'm running into one obstacle after another, including ones I've created myself, I listen to "I Will Let You Down," and most of the time I feel a bit better. For me, the song is more directed at myself than anyone else. It's a nice reminder that I'm not always going to get everything done and done perfectly. I'm going to forget songs during storytime. I'm going to write such a cheesy poem, there's no possible way to unbury myself from the cheese. I'm going to accidentally let it slip how I much I loathe a character in a book Izzy and I read together. I make mistakes. I'm human. And my biggest critic is myself. When I listen to this song I get a little chuckle and move on. 

Favorite Music of 2019

2019 was an excellent year for music. There were about thirty albums on my list this year and I spent most of my waking time (except when I was helping patrons and Izzy with her homework) listening to music. This is my first year ladies did not show up in my top ten. They were certainly in my top twenty, but 2019 was all about the gents. As always, there are a few albums from 2018. These are albums I couldn't get or didn't' have time to listen to until after the new year.

If I were to describe 2019 in a few words, this would be it: 

* serious but hopeful

* spontaneous bursts of raw emotion that lifted me up, made me feel a little uncomfortable, sometimes leaving me dazed and perplexed, and motivating me to give life 100% (and feel a little cheesy about it)

* uplifting

* surprising

* life-changing

* Strange noises and mumbling 

* A few hymns, some choral elements, but not as much banjo as I was hoping for

Here is my top ten. Enjoy!

10. Josh Turner - I Serve a Savior (favorite song - Doxology)

9. Calum Scott - Only Human (favorite song - Dancing On My Own Tiësto remix)

8. James Blunt - Once Upon a Mind (favorite song - Champions)

7. American Authors - Seasons (favorite Song - Deep Water)

6. Andy Grammer - Naive (favorite Song - I Found You)

5. Vampire Weekend - Father of the Bride (favorite Song - Hold You Now)

If you've every wondered what it would be like to take a journey in the dryer with a fluffy comforter, listening to Vampire Weekend's album is about as close as it gets. I don't always know what's going on in a Vampire Weekend song, and I've sometimes stared at their lyrics until the words blur. But I always feel so much more receptive to what I call 'peopling,' which means going out into the world and doing things in the presence of other humans like working, shopping, and other things that fall under the adulting category. I can't believe I'm saying this but perhaps my favorite thing about Vampire Weekend is how friendly they sound, and how that friendliness tiptoes through my prickly self. Father of the Bride is by far the friendliest of their albums. I usually wait to read the reviews until I've written mine, but I listened to this album for about five minutes before I had to find out who the mystery lady singer was. I read this beautiful thing by Mike Powell, who is both brilliant and frustrating depending on the article - 

"Several of the songs (“Hold You Now,” “Married in a Gold Rush,” “We Belong Together”) are literal duets between Koenig and Haim’s Danielle Haim—the sound not of one person thinking it through but two people hashing it out, of yin slowly reconciling itself to yang."

Hold You Now is my favorite song on the album. I love the conversation between Ezra Koenig and Haim, but more importantly, it reminds me of the song, Missa Luba: Kyrie, which is one of my most favorite songs. I nearly fell out of my chair when I heard Hold You Now the first time.

 
4. NF - The Search (favorite song - Nate)

The desolate landscape with the empty shopping cart and black balloons looks like your typical NF cover, but the music on The Search is a bit different. NF even talks about this difference on one of the tracks, how he has stepped away (but not completely) from the apocalyptic trailer music and choral elements. At first I wasn't thrilled by this. It's one of my favorite things about his previous albums. But his raw honesty, how he probes and interrogates the trauma he's endured, shines a spotlight on his insecurities while grasping for any kind of confidence he can, and occasionally slips back into the darkness that tries to consume him, keeps me listening. I was hooked the moment his empty shopping cart creaked through the opening of the first song and sliced open a torrent of emotions (none relating to shopping carts though).

When I listened to Nate the first time I was driving to work and had to pull over. I was so overwhelmed by all the different emotions I needed space to process them. Since Izzy came to live with us, the word 'trauma' went from a word we never used to one that peppers into our everyday language. After listening to Nate, I decided to do something that probably wasn't very responsible, but I played that song for her later. She was completely quiet the whole way through the song, which isn't like her. She likes to talk. A lot.  At the end of the song she looked at me and said, "that song speaks of my past." We talked about why it spoke to her, and I think the door between us opened up just a bit more. 

That's the beauty of NF. His torment, the quicksand of his trauma that he's constantly battling, and how he shares that battle through music, helps others battle their own demons. I can't imagine how battle-weary he is after four albums of this, but my gratitude is immeasurable, especially at this point in my life. I think I'm speaking for a lot of people when I say this, but some times the only way I can face myself or get rid of the negative energy I feel when I think about the people who have hurt Izzy is to take a moment and listen to his lyrics. His music gives me a safe place to process some big hurts. His story is a little bit my story, Izzy's story, and so many others. I have nothing but praise.

3. Avicii - Tim (favorite song - Fades Away)

In most of the songs on Avicii's album, Tim, there's this moment when it sounds like someone drops the plinko puck on The Price is Right. It's a really shallow and simple reason to love an album as much as I love this one, but that's why I love it. I also appreciate the variety of artists he collaborates with - artists I know (Imagine Dragons) and artists I've never heard of (Noonie Bao).

2. Mumford & Sons - Delta (favorite song - Rose of Sharon)

I'm pretty predictable, even to myself. If you tell me there's rosemary in something I'll make a stink about it and probably won't eat it. But if you don't tell me there's rosemary in something there's a possibility I'll like it.  Rachel and I were sharing a blueberry polenta scone recently and really enjoying it.  We found a little twig, which prompted more searching.  Turns out it had rosemary in it too. So what the heck does this have to do with Mumford & Sons. Everything. When Delta came out I knew it was going to be in my top ten albums of 2019, and I hadn't yet listened to a single song. 

I did eventually listen to it (about a minute after getting it), and just like their other albums, loved it. But it was too obvious a choice for me so I tried to talk myself out of how much I loved it, because it was such an obvious choice. At some point I had to get over it, because Rose of Sharon ended up being my favorite song of the year, and pretty much my anthem. It's a burst of joy right at the very beginning, building to this incredibly sweet love song that has done to my soul what ivy does to a stark house.  I always have a Robert song of the year, and this is it. It's a beautiful reminder that love can make us stronger and better if we surrender to it.   

1. Hozier - Wasteland, Baby! (favorite song - Would That I)

Like Vampire Weekend, Hozier's lyrics occasionally baffle me. But I love his music enough to pluck lines that work for me and let his soulful voice do the rest. On his latest album, he's still very much a soulful, powerful singer, but there are some upbeat, mainstream-sounding tunes, which is an interesting blend I've been calling soul pop (this is probably already a thing and may not have anything to do with Hozier). My favorite thing about Hozier is how he can go from mellow to yelling with absolutely no transition. It just happens and always lifts me to my feet. This album is my number one this year because it was the album I listened to most while writing in 2019. Other than "Big Pimpin," anything System of a Down, and a small handful of other songs, I listen mostly to classical music with absolutely no words, not even opera, which I love, while I write. I find myself starting to think about the lyrics too much and I also worry about the lyrics influencing my writing. A few songs on Hozier's album made the list of songs that I can not only listen to while writing, but songs that also inspire and motivate me. My favorite songs are 'Would That I," which has some of that spontaneous and powerful yelling I love and "To Noise Making (Sing)," which not only has a choral element but also some incoherent mumbling at the end, which I'm always a fan of.

I Am Light

I recently created a playlist I named, "Cheer Up Buttercup," and I've been getting a kick out of finding songs that light me up. When I listened to "I Am Light" recently, I wondered what emotion was dancing through my veins.  It was joy.  It was positivity.  Apparently I was feeling anxious or grumpy prior to listening to the song, and India Arie woke me up.  

India Arie also has a new album!

this our hymn of grateful praise

If I were to describe my favorite music from 2018 in five words, I would choose uplifting, quirky, introspective, spiritual, and sweet. 2018's list includes a soundtrack I really connected with, one album I checked out from the library on a whim due to its strange name, and as always, a handful of artists I loved prior to this year.  Unlike other years, there is very little rap and wacky stuff. I didn't connect with most of the rap albums released in 2018. They were too serious or monotonous, and a couple favorites of mine even sounded tired. Likewise, a few of my go-to wacky artists who usually produce wild and interesting sounds, sounded too serious and flat, or were trying too hard.  I will refrain from mentioning names, as I understand artists express who they are at the moment their album is made, and if they're feeling like a stick in the mud at that moment, then it's totally understandable when their album sounds like that.

Overall, it is my belief that Christian artists kicked some serious butt this past year. Never have I had so many Christian artists in my top twenty. Because of this, 2018 is a very happy list. 

Here is my top ten list of 2018 albums (and a few 2017 albums I was unable to get my hands on until after the first of the year). Enjoy!

10. Rend Collective - Good News (favorite song - Counting Every Blessing)
9. The Shack Soundtrack (favorite song - Amazing Grace by for KING & COUNTRY)
8. Vance Joy - Nation of Two (favorite song - Take Your Time)
7. Brandi Carlile - By the Way, I Forgive You (favorite song - Every Time I Hear That Song) 
6. Josh Ritter - Gathering (favorite song - Train Go By)

5. Alt-J - Reduxer

This album punched me in the face (in the best way possible). Alt-J didn't need to remix his songs. They are brilliant on their own.  But he did it.  And it's bizarre and beautiful.  He collaborates with artists I haven't heard of, and they complement each other well.  House of the Rising Sun sounds like a rap lullaby of a family devastated by alcohol. The words are harsh and poetic but the rhythm is soothing and soft and feels like a couple clocks getting together to create some music. The first time I heard it I cried. It feels like I'm reading an entire book in a little under five minutes. The song, Pleader, spotlights the rapper, Sin Suela, and honestly it's just not enough. I'm ready for him to put out an entire album.  I haven't figured out what's going on in the song, but each time I listen to it, I throw 100% of myself into it in the hopes I will finally figure out what the heck is going on.  At about 3:35 minutes in, some kind of magical trap music, video game-sounding, robot hoedown thing happens, and it always makes me light up like a 1000 watt lightbulb made entirely out of incandescent joy. 

4. Lauren Daigle - Look Up Child



Lauren Daigle's voice is soulful, rich, and playful. Her growth as an artist and person is evident on this album, which is always special to witness.  The first time I listened to this album, I wondered if her next album may step away from her religious roots. But after a few more listens, I'm not so sure.  Look Up Child sounds a bit more spiritual than her last album, How Can It Be, which had firm religious roots.  She sounds like she's figuring out who she is and her relationship with both her God and her faith.  Turn Your Eyes Upon Jesus is my favorite song.  Hymns are one of my favorite types of music, and I especially love hearing different variations of them.  Lauren Daigle's version is both pop and jazz, and also reminiscent of Lauryn Hill.   

3. Rainbow Kitten Surprise - How to Friend, Love, Freefall



When I saw this at the library I didn't hesitate. I immediately checked it out and played it in my car.  I was curious - what is a rainbow kitten and isn't the word, 'surprise' redundant?  I mean, I feel like I would be totally surprised if I saw a rainbow kitten. So yes, this band has my new favorite name, and as for their music?  Well, it feels a little like sitting in the middle of a room filled with rainbow kittens. Magical, blissful, trippy, and kinda raucous. They remind me a little of Modest Mouse, but they are definitely their own band.  They're soulful, weird, quirky, and fun.  There's harmony, but there's also mumbling and guitar trash-talking. I love Possom Queen, because it taps into that special place in my heart where Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers live.  Now you understand why there's always pep in my walk!  It's because I've built a house for Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, who spend their days tapping away the rhythm of my steps.  Possom Queen plays with the song, Let's Call the Whole Thing Off.  You know the song I'm  talking about - "You like potato, I like potahto" with the trumpet acting sassy in the background?  There's also the song, Holy War, with its gentle and and perfectly placed, "Kaboom," which follows a helicopter noise that doesn't overstay its welcome.  It's Called: Freefall has some surprising harmony and Fever Pitch is the perfect song for when you're home alone and want to dance like a weirdo. "Let it simmer. Let it simmer. Simmer down please."  It's such a perfect album. More importantly, Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers are thrilled to have some rainbow kittens to share their afterlives with.

2. Andy Grammer - The Good Parts



This was my go-to happy album this year.  If you are looking for a slice of super-sweet pop pie, this is the perfect album.  Fresh Eyes is a love song about seeing someone for the first time every time (totally and wonderfully gag-worthy) - "you dress up just a little and I'm like, 'oooooh, damn.'" Naturally, it's my favorite song on the album.  It's a great album to dance to, and while it's not necessarily thought-provoking, life-changing, or unique, it's pure ear candy and I had it playing in the background for much of the year.

1. Sara Groves - Abide With Me



There are three things I ask from a Sara Groves' album.  Her voice must stand out, her tunes need to be simple and soft, and the presence of the piano must cling to her voice and words like a shadow. Her last few albums have been pretty loud and have strayed away from the simplicity I so hugely admire in her work.  The Sara Groves on Abide With Me is the Sara Groves I fell in love with on Conversations and All Right Here.  She even sings a song from Conversations, He's Always Been Faithful.  Though it's different and her voice is stronger on Conversations, I love it just as much because it's just so gosh darn cool to hear the same song sung by my favorite artist several years later. Yes, Sara Groves is my favorite artist, and has been since 2004 when her album, Conversations, was given to me by a tennis buddy. I lived in Springfield, Missouri at the time, which is where Sara Groves went to college.  My tennis buddy told me to pay attention to certain songs and lyrics, and they were the exact lyrics I needed to hear at that point in my life.  We all have our spiritual journeys, and listening to Conversations helped turn what was a rather confusing, frustrating, and negative journey into one that felt more comfortable.  Sara Groves gives each hymn sung on Abide With Me her full attention and inner beauty, which lights them up and makes them magical.  These hymns are also recorded in a 110-year-old church, so I'm sure this also has something to do with the magic.  

Here is my favorite song from 2018:

Sara Groves - For the Beauty of the Earth

Stooki Sound - Endz

This is the song I currently have on repeat.  I find it incredibly soothing and it feels a little like it organizes my thoughts and gives me much-needed clarity by the time it ends.  It's definitely in the playlist of songs that help me get my shit together.

when music hides in books

Whenever I'm at the library and find a book with a music cd in the back of it, it feels like my birthday. So when I saw the book, Gondola, by Donna Leon, with a mysterious cd including a song by my favorite opera singer, Cecilia Bartoli, I took it home.  Though the book is filled with lovely art, it's very dry and I never finished it.  Turns out I'm not really a gondola enthusiast.  The CD, however, is stellar.  




Another book, Listen to the Birds, was another book I couldn't resist taking home.  Melancholy is one of my favorite songs to put on repeat when I'm writing.

Let my hands be used for lifting

This song brings me so much peace.  I've been playing it nonstop recently, and I'm sharing it because I hope it brings you peace too.

Joshua Hyslop sings it like a prayer, and he sings it so softly it feels like a second skin.

Joshua Hyslop - Runs and Winds

I'ma say all the words inside my head

2017 was an awesome and interesting year for music.  Over half of my top ten list were surprises, music I checked out from the library on a whim. Another surprise favorite was Lauren Daigle's Christmas album.  I love Christmas music and probably have about a dozen renditions of each popular Christmas song.  This is the first time a Christmas album has made a yearly favorites list. It's that good.

Top 10 Favorite albums of 2017 (with a few 2016 albums I didn't get my hands on until after 2017)

10. Lauren Daigle - Behold (Favorite song - O Come All Ye Faithful)
9. KB - Today We Rebel (Favorite song - DNOU)
8. Allen Stone - Radius (deluxe edition) (Favorite song - Where You're At, which is on the 2015 version I know)
7. Bernz - See You on the Other Side (Favorite song - Dancing with the Devil)
6. Odesza - A Moment Apart (Favorite song - Falls)

5. Johnnyswim - Georgica Pond

I love everything about Johnnyswim - their partnership, harmonies, musicality, and lyrics.  The married duo sing about the details of their lives - their marriage, baby (who sings a little on one track), and life making music together.  I get chills every time I listen to my favorites on this album.  I can't decide which song is my favorite either.  "First Try" and "Touching Heaven" are too close to my heart to pick just one.  Both are love songs and make me think of my Robert.   When the choir (yes, there's a choir!) starts singing in "Touching Heaven," you're my hallelujah, I know without a doubt, that's exactly who Robert is.  And I hope that I'm his too.  In "Georgica Pond" there's a line - I'll be your lighthouse, and it makes me think of everyone I love and cherish.  I think it's a beautiful metaphor for unconditional love.  Johnnyswim's lyrics give words to so many feelings I've never known how to describe.

4. Nahko and Medicine for the People - Hoka

I checked out this album from the library on a whim.  The album artwork is most attractive and absolutely impossible to resist.  Lucky for me, the music is just as beautiful as the album cover.  Every instrument and type of music under the sun is lovingly tucked into each song on Hoka.  There are so many influences - Native American, rock, folk, world, hip hop, country - all of which seamlessly blend together.  The overall feeling of the album is enchanting, cathartic, and empowering.  This six member band sounds a little like Tom Petty, Hootie and the Blowfish, Randall Paskemin, and Toots and the Maytals all mixed together in what I can only describe as pure musical bliss.  Nahko Bear, the lead singer, has a caramelly, probing voice that is balm for any soul, but especially a weary one.  My favorite song, "Backbone," showcases some incredible lyrics - And the wind becomes my blanket... And I will sit alone on mountains and breathe the name of all.  It's an album I'll listen to and love forever.

3. The Hamilton Mixtape

I'm not sure this is surprising, but I am one of those people who haven't climbed aboard the Hamilton bandwagon.  I can count the number of musicals I like on one hand, dead presidents aren't my thing, and I'm just not that brainy.  Though I haven't seen the musical (and am not really planning to), I did listen to both the original album and the mixtape. And I love the mixtape.  This probably doesn't surprise you, but I have a very complicated formula that decides my top ten albums of the year list.  There's a lot of omg this is great going on, yes, but that's only one part of the formula.  When this album popped up on the list I thought I had made a mistake.  But yes, Hamilton has somehow touched the most sour of anti-Hamilton hearts.  This album made the list because I listen to it a lot while writing.  Any music that makes the writing playlist is pretty special. Also, the variety of amazing artists on this album is very impressive, for example, K'naan, Kelly Clarkson, and !Llmind, who does my favorite track, "Take a Break (interlude)."  It's a track you can put on repeat for an hour or two of writing.  Fantastic stuff.

2. JL - Dibkis

My favorite rap album of the year is by someone I've never heard of.  This was another album I picked up on a whim while working at the library. Because JL is a product of strange music and Tech N9ne, I couldn't resist taking this album home. Interestingly enough, I loved this album but did not like Tech N9ne's latest album.  Tech N9ne's cameos on this album are wonderful, however, so I still love his music.  I must say I was very disappointed in rap music overall this year.  I thought most of it sounded like a bunch of mopey and sluggish old school rap that was much too serious for my taste.  JL sounds like he's having fun, like he enjoys what he's doing, and I appreciate that.  The lyrics are really quite tasteless, of course, though there were a few exceptions.  I really like a few lines in "Own Thang" - looking like I'm bad news and bitch I do my own thang, which no librarian needs to be rapping while tootling around in their fancy station wagon.  But I do. Though I had few bad days last year, "F**k Everything" always put me in a better mood and usually had me giggling by the end of the song.  "Elevated" was my favorite song though, and I listened to it constantly.  He really nails the rapping in this song, and it's a boo-yah song, which always gives me fire and energy to go after life. 

1. Imagine Dragons - Evolve

Ha, I bet you thought this list was devolving.  Turns out it Evolved into this moment, the number one album of the year.  I'm sure you are totally surprised.  I'm sure you have no idea how much I love Imagine Dragons.  They can do no wrong, really.  When I sing along with them I feel like I'm connecting with some unknown part of myself that I can only reach when listening to their music.  Like millions of others out there, I too, love "Believer."  It's my favorite song of the year. I particularly like the lines, I'ma say all the words inside my head and I'm the master of my sea.  It's the ultimate boo-yah song.  "Yesterday" is a very close second for me.  Is he singing into a can attached to a string that's strung between my heart and his mouth?  Yes, that's exactly it.  Every time the word yesterday comes up I always yell it as loud as possible.  It's so unbelievably cathartic. Thank you, Imagine Dragons for another outstanding album.  

Hell was less than 2 steps away from my bathtub

I'm not sure if you have a classical music playlist, but I do, and I love it.

Any time I import classical music, or anything that's strictly instrumental, I dump it into my classical music playlist.  Occasionally there's a rude surprise - usually someone making intelligible sounds - and I remove it immediately.  The playlist's purpose is primarily for writing.  I almost always listen to terrible rap music while writing, lovely songs like "Big Pimpin'" and "Gunwalk."  I gobble up all silly and appalling rap music and my brains spits it back out in poetry.  Once I reach the final stages of editing, though, I like music that's entirely devoid of language.  None of that, "I got ninety nine problems but a bitch ain't one" stuff. I'm talking Beats Antique, A.R. Rahman, and pretty much all trailer music.  Silence occasionally works, but music is as necessary as my heartbeat. Sometimes I even confuse the two sounds.

I love my classical music playlist and occasionally listen to it while enjoying long bubble baths. During a recent bubble bath I played my classical music playlist on shuffle.  As I lazily flipped through the latest Oprah magazine, my music calmly progressed through Max Richter, Chopin, and George Winston.

All of a sudden this song came on and I nearly flooded the bathroom and injured myself when I leapt several feet into the air.


(Two Steps From Hell - All the King's Horses)

After I calmed myself down, wrung out my magazine, and mopped up the bathroom I realized that maybe I need to have another classical music playlist.  One that plays only calm classical music.  

I keep coming back to this song though.  I prepare myself for it - wear a helmet, make sure I'm nowhere near the bathtub, hold my hand over my heart to keep it from flying out - you know the drill.

And then I crank up the volume and let it rip.  I can't get enough of it.   

a redneck's interpretation of a famous classical piece

Occasionally when I'm scatter-brained I'll tell others that I've lost the jar that holds my marbles and one can only hold so many marbles without a jar.

Mussorgsky's Ballet of the Unhatched Chicks is the music going on inside me as I'm scrambling around looking for my jar.  When I played this for someone and told them this they said "oh that's the hatching song," and I was like, "no no no, that's the one-too-many-marbles-without-a-jar song."

So as it turns out, one person's chick song is another person's marbles song.

I first heard this on a children's album I checked out from the library.  It's my go-to song for moments when you grab your umbrella instead of your tennis racket and don't find out about it until you step onto the court.

This actually happened to a tennis pal, and I can't stop laughing about it.

I hear this song and think, 'Ok, losing the jar that holds your marbles is pretty funny stuff, and apparently it happens to all of us, and look at how pretty it sounds.' 

Mother Taiga

When I listened to Mother Taiga the first time I was blown away. The second time I listened to it I wondered what taiga meant.  It turns out that taiga is Russian for forest, a swampy, coniferous forest of northern latitudes.

And it makes perfect sense.  I've always felt like the forest I grew up in was a mother to me in many ways.  It taught me life lessons, gave me nourishment and shelter, and demonstrated both tough and tender love, often on the same day!  Like the day I jumped away just in time to escape an ominous rattler, and later, to console myself, found a tree to tuck into until I could face the world again.

This song is balm for all my invisible aches.  It centers me whenever I get too ahead of myself and gently nudges me to focus on the present. It's the pulse of the ground beneath my feet, the growl of life lived fiercely, the whisper of atmosphere and breath combined.

And I hope it means as much to you as it does to me.

Carmen Rizzo & Huun Huur Tu - Mother Taiga

the stars and moon

In 2016 a lot of albums let me down.  Many more gave me one or two songs that I will love forever. And very few are treasures that continue to give me strength, hope, joy and inspiration.  

Top 10 Favorite albums of 2016 (with a few 2015 albums I didn't get my hands on until after 2016)

10. American Authors - What We Live For (favorite song - Superman)
9. M.I.A. - Aim (favorite song - Freedun)
8. Adele - 25 (favorite song - When We Were Young)
7. Walter Martin - Arts & Leisure (favorite song - Michelangelo) 
6. Lauren Daigle - How Can It Be (favorite song - Once And For All)

5. Mat Kearney - Just Kids

I am sad I never heard of Mat Kearney until this year, but I am incredibly jazzed I saw his album peeking at me while working at the library.  He raps and sings very relatable lyrics that punch me right in the heart.  It's really tough to pick a favorite song.  Perhaps Los Angeles. I don't keep albums in their entirety.  I'm not afraid to toss a song that I don't like.  Just Kids is one of those rare albums that remains intact in my iTunes collection.  Mat Kearney's words demand more attention than I can usually give, but I'm going to forever lend an ear to lyrics like this, "This is for the two-year olds who cannot be understood because they speak half English and half God."

4. NF - Therapy Session 



There's a lot of 'look at me now' stuff going on here, which is a little reminiscent of Eminem. But unlike Eminem NF really is evolving as a person and artist. Like Eminem, NF is angry.  But NF's anger lacks hostility or sensationalism.  He thanks his higher power. He cries unabashedly about his mom's drug overdose while rapping that music is the only place that he can go to speak to her. And there's no women-bashing or cussing here. Add to this a potent dose of trailer music and you have one therapy session you will never miss, no matter how good you have it.  Intro 2 is a clear winner as far as songs go, but there are many songs that will rip the tears out of your face and give you a safe haven for your emotions. 

3. Rachel Platten - Wildfire



Rachel Platten's voice is very much like her album cover: sparkly, firey and magical. Unlike her album cover, which shows a fierce face, Rachel Platten's voice has such an endearing vulnerability to it. Over the past year I have listened to Wildfire while writing, practicing tennis on the backboard, sewing, dancing, pretty much everything.  And though Piano Guys took her song, Fight Song, and killed it, I still love her version of it.  My favorite song, surprise surprise, is 'Stand By You.' I will definitely never grow tired of hearing it.  

2. Kygo - Cloud Nine



Gosh, this album simply throws me into euphoria. When I first listened to the songs I couldn't figure out what was going on.  So many of my favorite artists - Angus & Julia Stone, John Legend and Labrinth collaborating with something strange, something bubbly and inspirational and wild. Turns out the something strange is this DJ guy, Kygo, who is Godlike in his ability to create soulful, sugary, piano-heavy beats in collaboration with some very exciting artists.  It's a little like putting a trampoline inside a gumball machine and then getting to live there in merry bouncy bliss.  My favorite song is Fragile, which is a fairly peppy song about how some people think it's ok to treat fragile people like shit, and when Labrinth starts wailing and breaking windows with his voice that sound is exactly the feeling fragile people get when other people break into their gumball world and chew it to pieces.  

1. Enya - Dark Sky Island



When this album came out there was no doubt in my mind that it would be my favorite album this year.  I cried even as I opened the case the first time.  Eerily and perfectly enough, Enya's albums have come out whenever I need them most.  Her music is perfect for a good cry, but also creates instant wings to lift me away from whatever is burying me in sadness.

When I escaped my depression in my teens A Day Without Rain drained me of my demons while simultaneously carrying me away from them. When my mom and grandma grew wings and left Hermit's Holler I cried both tears of joy and sadness while listening to 'Long, Long Journey' from her album Amarantine.  And later, when I thought I would never graduate college, the album, And Winter Came gave me the strength to keep going.  Now, as I struggle to surface from the loss of my grandma and the knowledge and acceptance that I will never have the unconditional love of a person I love unconditionally, I know that Dark Sky Island will keep me from drowning. My favorite song, 'Astra Et Luna,' is soothingly sweeping and uplifting.  I have listened to it so much that it now surpasses nearly every song in number of plays.

Enya is 55 and her voice is just as sweet and crisp as the moment I first listened to her 16 years ago. And her albums always find their way to me when I most need them. 

I will leave you with my favorite song of the year: Astra Et Luna

all of your favorite holidays at once

One of the best things about working at a library is all the neat stuff I come across.  It's easy to take risks, and risks drive growth.  

I flip through books and take home anything that catches my eye.  A handful of those risks have altered how I speak, how I show love, how I paint and even how I breathe.  

Music is the same way.  Bagpipes and drums? Sure. Funny looking opera cd that has 10 discs? Why not?  If anything has a picture of a bird on it the odds are pretty great that it's going home with me. At first I though Foy Vance was some kind of parody of Vance Joy so I didn't even investigate it. Then I saw the beautiful swan on the cover, and it went home with me.  And what an album!  

Before I worked at the library I was a nanny and it was tough to tell who loved the books more - me or the children, but I never felt comfortable checking them out for myself.  Watching my coworkers go bananas over kid's books gave me the courage to start taking them home.  At first it was just a handful, now it's bags and bags.  

Occasionally, if it's slow at the library I'll crack one open and flip through it.  And a few times patrons will ask for a peek, which means that those kid's books end up going home with them, and hopefully making them feel a little less shy about checking them out in the future.   

Going to work each day at the library is like walking into a place that's celebrating all of your favorite holidays at once.  In addition to eccentric regulars, there is a sense of belonging, camaraderie, and excitement.  And every new cd, book or movie that looks promising is a gift that never stops giving.  

Soundtracks are on my list of favorite things.  They usually showcase a compilation of artists, which means lots of variety, which is important to me. And I almost always find someone new that makes my ears and soul happy.  

I couldn't get into the book, Me Before You, so I'm not sure I will ever watch the movie.  But I knew I had to take the soundtrack home. And I'm glad I did because it introduced me to Jack Garratt.  This song has quite the melody going on.  It's a good song to hum to, a good song to sit perfectly still with as it restores the soul after a long day's hard work, a day filled with helping others find their own Jack Garratts in the vast and never-ending stacks at the library. 

  

restoring that fuzzy lava feeling

After a holiday the library can get a little bit... How do I say this politely?  

The library has a tendency to be a little batshit crazy after a holiday.  We are very loved, and my heart simply melts into fuzzy lava knowing that people miss us so much.  

However, we have a million things that were returned while closed, and all those things need to be processed.  Plus everyone gets a little spacey so we have a lot of what we call 'mismatches,' which is code for things returned without all their pieces.  

Oh and if I have a holiday and I'm not going out of town I like to do a bit of housecleaning, get caught up, that sort of thing.  Apparently we all feel this way because there's usually a wall of donations awaiting us.  

People also find items that were lost in the 60's and and naturally expect refunds.  

Other folks use the extra time to learn new library resources like databases and ebooks, and when its unsuccessful, need some help ASAP when our doors open after the holiday.  

Fines from ten years ago are discovered and must. be. paid. now.

Everyone's a little cranky because we have to go back to work.  Even people who work in libraries! WHAA?  

And added to all of this holiday mayhem is the fact that we are missing 25% of our staff due to promotions, moving, etc.  A lot of turnover.

So, today, on my day off, I am going to clear my mind, go for a walk, do a little yoga, and listen to as much music as I possibly can.  Tomorrow, I will greet you with only patience and a heart full of music when you need me to learn how to use Publisher in 5 minutes so I can help you make a graphic or you hand me a Walmart bag of pennies to put towards the fines on your six kid's accounts.  

Or if you accidentally returned an empty six cd set because you put each of those cds in unrelated cases that were on your grandma's best friend's account, I will nod understandingly and smile, even as I hear a thousand things fall on the floor in the backroom because the tub is overflowing.  

Yesterday a lady, who was at least 80, ducked her head in the back room.  

"Can I help you?" I asked.

"I was just following the sound of that beautiful music."

I was a little mortified because I was playing this:

Thank goodness it wasn't Big Pimpin'. 

Kapow!

Earlier this week I came home to a stack of goodies that arrived all on the same day:

Since then I have been in a constant state of mega joy overload. 

Robert's sister, Jennifer, got me jazzed up about Birchbox, and I love it.  For $10 a month you get a box of samples.  Last month I got chapstick and mascara and lotion and a couple other things that I don't understand but are still super pretty.

I am a huge fan of All Trap Music.  I've slowly acquired all four cds, and I can say with certainty that Uppers is my favorite jam.  Today, that is. Itunes has informed me that I've played Uppers an astonishing 38 times so far.  Good stuff.

I also got Dean Morrissey's The Monster Trap.  

Once a month I go to a local used bookstore and usually find a book on my never-ending list.  I also buy one online that's hard to find.  I am very very happy to have secured my very own copy of The Monster Trap.  Unfortunately the first human who reacts the same way I did when I read it the first time will probably end up with my copy.  But sharing is at the top of the joy-of-books list.

The thing I'm most excited about right now, out of all of the goodies and all of the bestest most awesomest things that have happened this past week, was getting my very own copy of Susan Branch's new book, Martha Vineyard, Isle of Dreams.  I adore Susan Branch.  How much do I adore her?  Well, I've been lugging around her book, which weighs about as much as 5 hardback books, in my bike bag the past couple days.  I also love her enough to pause the Ms. Marvel (Kamala Khan) comic book series I've been reading and have been absolutely immersed in for the past week.  

Susan Branch's newest book starts out where her last book, The Fairytale Girl, left off, which was after her crushing divorce.  Susan is equal parts devastated and blossoming into her own person, and so for the past couple days I've been alternating between feeling like an awkward Muslim girl who has superhero powers, and having a simultaneous making-my-own-path breakdown/awakening.  

Needless to say that even though my legs are cramped from biking Susan's book all over town, I have felt very badass and eager to help.  After a lady gave me too much change at the library I leapt over a small box of books to get her dollar back before it was too late and she had driven away.  It's possible I'm part inhuman or drunk on life.  Or forever finding my way.  Or forever finding my way through the perspective of the protagonist(s) of the book(s) I'm currently reading.

But I'm certainly ok with putting Ms. Marvel on the shelf for the moment because Susan Branch's book is turning out to be everything I hoped for and more.

I am going to spend my Friday evening playing with whatever's in the pink box this month, listening to some All Trap Music and reading until my dogs make me stop.