Wednesday, December 16, 2015

shit goblin

Dear Citizen Who Didn't Flush Their Business And Left Poopy Toilet Paper Bombs Throughout The Bathroom Like Some Kind Of Shit Goblin, 

Was your doody so terrifying that you ran away from it before you could even throw your T.P. in the toilet and flush?  Were you trying to get away before the smell climbed into your face and killed you one smell molecule at a time?  

And why did you leave all the scary toilet paper sculptures leaning every which way like abdominal snow monsters frozen in poop and time?

Actually, no, I change my mind.  No need to answer any of these questions.  I'm just going to back out of the restroom slowly, make a circle of Purrell around myself and whisper the incantation that will mercifully erase the memory of this ever happening.    

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