Blooming

I recently bought a copy of The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse while browsing a favorite used bookstore. The timing couldn't have been better.  Even though the colors were blooming inside, I was having a spell of self-doubt.  

Isn't it great that we really can see inside each other through our work and what we create?

This piece brought me a lot of joy, but also required a lot of patience.  It was sometimes exhausting trying to tame my need to balance all the different aspects so the piece reflected the energy of its wild background. Eventually I let go and found refuge in the contemplation and peaceful effort of following the lines, even when they went outside the color. 

WHEEP

Here are the books I'm currently raving about.  

Wait and See by Helen Frost and pictures by Rick Lieder (Nonfiction Picture Book)

Do you have the patience to watch the subtle grace of a praying mantis? Even if you don’t, Rick Lieder’s photographs give you the opportunity to be a part of a praying mantis’ world. It’s too difficult to choose a favorite picture, but I love (and also feel a bit spooked) when the praying mantis, illuminated by light, stares directly at the reader. As much as I love praying mantises, I did get the weebie jeebies when hundreds of babies “dropped into the world.” Maybe someday I will have the patience to be a part of a praying mantis’ world. Until that day, I will happily drop into this book.

Sammy by Alix Berenzy (Picture Book)

Sammy is a charming classroom guinea pig who knows how to express his feelings with his impressive vocabulary of WHEEPs, squeals, shrieks, and chuckles. After Sammy emits a loud WHEEP, the teacher and students thoughtfully and carefully examine Sammy and determine he is feeling lonely after the long weekend. During this journey, they discuss the emotions behind each of Sammy’s sounds and help him feel better. What a great way to talk about how our body language can help us figure out each other’s emotions. The illustrations are also so adorable you won’t be able to contain all the SQUEES and may end up competing with Sammy for making the loudest noises.

Mrs. Peanuckle's Kitchen Alphabet by Mrs. Peanuckle and illustrated by Jessie Ford (Board Book)

Exciting text and illustrations, plenty of opportunities for conversation, and multiple words for each letter.

A Bargain for Frances by Russell Hoban and illustrated by Lillian Hoban (Early Reader)

I finally got around to reading a Frances book, and I’m sure glad I did. Frances’ friend, Thelma doesn’t always play fair. When Frances uses Thelma’s tricks to outsmart her, Thelma is shocked. It’s clear she wasn’t thinking about Frances’ feelings. Rather than that being the end of it, Frances does a very big thing and explains her actions and they quickly decide being friends is more important than mean tricks. Now I’m off to read the other Frances books! 

When it rains...

Thanks to Dash for publishing my poems, Sunshine (a poem about my mom) and She Pollinated the Plants with Her Soul (a poem about my grandma).  

I think this is the first time poems about two different family members have been published in the same journal. It's definitely a special issue for me.  And it's filled with beauty.  I'm still absorbing all the beautiful writing.

A thank you to Apricity who first published my poem, The Death and Life of a Pigeon online and then sent a very nice email about publishing it in their physical journal.  The journal is so pretty and glossy.  I haven't been able to pick a favorite piece of art.  

And thanks to El Portal for publishing Tennis in the Bubble.  I have been enjoying taking my time with this journal.  

these fleeting temples we make together

The Path to Kindness (Adult Nonfiction POETRY 💓)

My favorite poem is Small Kindnesses by Danusha Laméris: 

"We have so little of each other, now. So far
from tribe and fire. Only these brief moments of exchange. 
What if they are the true dwelling of the holy, these 
fleeting temples we make together when we say, “Here, 
have my seat,” “Go ahead—you first,” “I like your hat.”

The most haunting poem is Mercy by Rudy Francisco, which is about saving a spider instead of killing it:

"If I am ever caught in the wrong place
at the wrong time, just being alive
and not bothering anyone,
I hope I am greeted
with the same kind

of mercy."

The reflective pauses weren’t really my cup of tea, but I did like the one created from Angela Narciso Torres’ poem, Chore. I have enjoyed thinking about my own transformative chores and would read an entire anthology about them if such a thing existed.

These Silent Woods

These Silent Woods by Kimi Cunningham Grant (Adult Fiction)

Kenny (Cooper) made what was arguably a poor and impulsive decision to abduct his infant daughter, Finch from his in-laws after his wife passed away.  The abduction doesn’t go well, but I won’t spoil it for you by saying anything else.  They hide out in a friend’s cabin for years until something happens that threatens to expose them.  

I felt so conflicted about the main character.  I believe he didn’t deserve to have his child taken away in the first place, but he also abducted her when he realized the court battle could take months and it was unlikely he would be granted custody of his daughter.  This was only one example of why I felt conflicted about him.  I have other reasons, but I don’t want to spoil the book for anyone.  Though I felt conflicted about Cooper, I still cared for him and felt weirdly protective of him.  I’m always so impressed with authors who stir up so many emotions, especially conflicting emotions about characters.  Though there were only a few characters in this book, I really enjoyed all of them, especially Scotland, a neighboring hermit who had an odd way of looking out for Finch and Kenny.  

There was a lot of tension and focus on Cooper’s inner turmoil, which sounds heavy and is heavy, but I was completely invested in the characters, so I couldn’t walk away, no matter how many times I kept getting punched in the gut.  The ending was rather surprising, and though I have many feelings about it, I think it was very fitting.  That’s all I will say!

P.S. This was a pretty good audiobook.  I'm pretty picky about narrators, but Bronson Pinchot did a great job.  Anytime Cooper grew anxious, Bronson conveyed that anxiety well...Sometimes a little too well! 

Drilling

I love the heat so I'm out playing tennis as much as I can right now.  This is one of my favorite drills on the backboard. 

Robert was hanging out with me, and I asked him if the drill looked as cool as it felt.  I think it does!

a treasure trove of bathroom humor

Drawing on Walls: A Story of Keith Haring by Matthew Burgess (Nonfiction Picture Book)

I was delighted by this vividly illustrated biography of an artist who let his lines lead him through his artwork. Though there was plenty of information about Haring’s journey as a talented artist, I appreciated how Burgess placed just as much emphasis on Haring’s connection with children and his desire to support and encourage everyone’s ability to make and appreciate art. I also enjoyed both the biographical and author’s notes for a deeper look into Keith Haring’s life and the fruition of this book.

Olga and the Smelly Thing From Nowhere by Elise Gravel (Juvenile Graphic Fiction)

Olga is a creative, spunky, and inquisitive girl who loves to observe and draw. One day she meets a strange creature and goes on a scientific, artistic, and hilarious journey to learn everything about her new friend. 

I read this with one of my nieces, and it was a blast to read aloud. While I read the “book text” as we called it, she tackled the comic text, which included funny sounds, dialogue, and Olga’s many comical observations. I was concerned this book wouldn’t make a great read-aloud, but I was wrong! Now it’s at the top of my Read-Aloud list. Olga’s new friend/pet, Meh makes a lot of funny noises. Burps sound like Meh is saying, “rubber.” The mysterious “DOWDOWD DOW” sounds are due to hunger. Even Meh’s name is a sound - the sound Meh makes the most. Olga doesn’t initially understand Meh’s language, but she spends a lot of time decoding Meh’s sounds. Olga also needs to learn what kind of animal Meh is and what Meh likes to eat. 

There is a treasure trove of bathroom humor, but it’s balanced nicely with a focus on the scientific method, plenty of big words to discuss (like the delicious word, “delicacies” for example), and a smattering of French. There is even a brief (too brief in my opinion) appearance of Rita, a spider who lives in Olga’s bathroom and speaks French. If I haven’t convinced you to read this yet, I will add one more enticing detail. There’s a delightful librarian, Ms. Swoop who helps Olga!! 

P.S. The Olga series a great step-up for fans of the Zoey and Sassafras series who are looking for something similar. Both involve magical creatures and focus on the scientific method to find answers to their character’s questions.

Blankie

 Just a couple pictures of Josie being all snuggly with her blankie.

Close

Thanks to The Phoenix Soul for publishing my poem, Close.

I feel so comforted and reassured by these moments of tenderness, and I'm fortunate to see them all the time.

Yesterday, while working the desk at the library, an older couple needed assistance with their Kindle.  The husband and wife were very sweet with each other, and the wife was clearly protective of her husband, who was in a wheelchair, hard of hearing, and struggling to keep up with me as I helped them.  

I asked if I could touch the device and the husband pushed it towards me.  As I was working on the Kindle the husband asked me to speak up.  

"Oh she's just talking to it like I do," the wife reassured him.  And then she turned to me and asked me to speak up so he could hear me talking to the Kindle! 

Strength times strength times strength equals power.

What Happened to You? by Bruce D. Perry & Oprah Winfrey (Adult Nonfiction)

The first time I sat down to read this, I did not give it the time and attention it deserves.  I felt so frustrated the first time I tried reading this book, I simply skimmed it and tried to glean something helpful and move on fast.  I think the frustration was a mixture of helplessness combined with an assortment of feelings I felt while reading the stories, which were a little too close to home.  Thankfully, What Happened to You was chosen for a work committee’s book discussion and I gave it another chance. 

Trauma only became a part of my vocabulary several years ago when my husband and I became the guardians of two teens.  Prior to that, it was not something I really thought about.  Both teens had wildly different experiences with therapy and trauma therapy was only offered to one of them.  Bruce Perry talks about the inconsistencies in trauma training, which didn’t surprise me based on my experiences with the inconsistencies in therapy in general.  Even though both kids experienced trauma prior to coming and living with us (in addition to the trauma of being uprooted from their lives and living with us, because that is technically trauma too), it is confusing why one child was offered trauma therapy and the other one wasn’t.  Just from my perspective as a family member, trauma therapy was intense.  My husband and I were included in a family therapy session each week to assist with the trauma therapy, which included a couple of really tough weeks of reliving the trauma endured.  Even with the extra help from her therapist, my husband and I didn’t always do things correctly.  It felt like the instructions we received from the therapist happened backwards.  For example, even though hugs were usually fine, they were a trigger during an episode.  But we only learned this after I made the mistake of giving a hug during an episode.  Wouldn’t it be more beneficial for caregivers to learn about triggers first? 

Once I gave this book the proper attention it deserved and I stepped away from the perspective of a caregiver battling our mental health care system, I was able to tuck away a few helpful things.  I also now understand that trauma care is still in its infancy.  Just because it’s not part of our education today doesn’t mean it won’t be a required class in high school or college someday, or that caregivers will, one day, be given consistent trauma training.  Training/therapy aside, I think the sooner we know that everyone is dealing with trauma (some with unrecognized trauma) and that trauma affects everyone differently, the better we can care for each other.

Here are the things that resonated with me most:

·         Oprah: “We don’t begin our lives by asking: Am I enough? Am I worthy? Am I deserving or lovable?”

·         Oprah: “The spiritual teacher Gary Zukav has said, ‘When you find an addiction, do not be ashamed.  Be joyful.  You have found something that you have come to this Earth to heal.  When you confront and heal an addiction, you are doing the deepest spiritual work that you can do on this earth.’”  When I was a teenager I attended Al-Anon meetings, which taught me to see addiction as a disease.  This helped me separate loved ones from the disease, which kept me sane.  Zukav’s wisdom adds a whole new layer to my existing beliefs, especially since I was also taught that my loved ones would always struggle with the disease, even when sober and drug-free.  How to stay a safe distance away but be supportive is the fragile line many of us find ourselves teetering on.  Zukav’s words have padded my sense of pride for those who are doing successful healing work.

·         Perry: “Even in the absence of major traumatic events, unpredictable stress and the lack of control that goes with it are enough to make our stress-response systems sensitize – overactive and overly reactive – creating the internal storm.”  Ok, so how can I help identify stress for others who are experiencing it but maybe not realizing it?  Do they need help identifying it or do I take a step back?  How can I make situations less stressful?

·         Oprah: “Children know from birth whether their caregiver’s eyes light up when they enter a room.”  This is absolutely true.  Thank you, Oprah for saying this.  It’s so simple, but it’s something that isn’t easy to understand.  Unconditional love isn’t part of the basic package you get as a human being, but man, when it happens, you know who is giving it.  People who fake it or just don’t get it are one of my greatest pain points.  If you don’t unconditionally love someone, don’t string them along!

·         Perry: I can’t quote it because it’s too long, but I spent days thinking about how Perry compared trauma to a shipwreck, and how it’s necessary to revisit that part of yourself and figure out what pieces you’re going to take forward with you so that you can heal.  I can’t think of a better time to have someone in your corner and how there are people doing this healing work alone. 

·         Perry: Everything he says about resilience.  But especially, “We often use our belief in another person’s ‘resilience’ as an emotional shield.”  Guilty!  Also, “Your connectedness to other people is so key to buffering any current stressor – and healing from past trauma.”  Ok, so this is something I can work on.  Just saying hi to people I see all the time can help build this connection.  It’s awkward, but I can do this.

·         Perry with the BEST PIECE OF ADVICE in the whole book: “You can’t talk someone out of feeling angry, sad, or frustrated, but you can be a sponge (reflective listening) and absorb their emotional intensity.  If you stay regulated, ultimately they will ‘catch’ your calm.”  He also talks about the tone and rhythm of our voices being more important than words, which is tough for someone who loves words (note the long review).  I love the idea of absorbing another person’s emotional intensity.  The tricky part is making sure I’m listening and strong enough that day (regulated) to do this.  The practice of building strength for another person and making sure I’m regulated has been surprisingly beneficial to my own well-being. 

·         Perry: Everything he says about relational poverty hits home.  I spent most of my childhood in solitude, completely isolated, and it’s taken a lot of time to work with my social anxiety.  As an adult, I do not belong to any groups and struggle like crazy to maintain a few family relationships.  But I recognize I am deeply protective of my solitude, even at the risk of loneliness.  Thanks, childhood! : )  I spend a lot of time wondering how people make friendships look so easy.  Knowing that we are all struggling to some extent with relational poverty is both sad as heck but also reassuring.  We all want connection!  I’m definitely looking at everyone a little differently.  And also thinking about the role the library plays in this and how my newfound knowledge of relational poverty can help guide the programming I’m involved with.

·         Perry: “When somebody is being rude, our typical response is to get caught up in the contagion of their emotions – we get dysregulated and then we mirror their rude behaviors.”  TRUTH

·         Perry: “Our society’s transgenerational social fabric is fraying.”  This has kept me up at night.  How do we fix this?

·         Oprah: “Strength times strength times strength equals power.”  Thank you, Oprah, for ending this on a positive note.