When I began adding extra things to my journal, I would often have what I call 'dump days,' which are days when I have more physical material than words. I have these days a few times a month. I'm simply out of words.
Yesterday was such an emotional day. I'll be able to explain more later, but one of the big things we did yesterday was take Rachel to her university for her move-in day. It was much more emotionally taxing than I expected it to be. Foolishly, I had carved out time to write this morning, but when I closed my office door and sat down to write, I ended up dissolving into a puddle tears and snot. I really love that kid.
On days when I'm out of words it's nice to grab my stack of journals and flip through them. Past dump days often get me out of a slump. It helps me realize that, as important as it is to create my own words, the words of others are what keep me going.
This is one of my favorite dump days for a few reasons. In 2013, while I was a clerk at a different library, we had a new manager. One of the first things she did was ask everyone to describe their coworkers. After she collected everyone's answers she created a wordle. Everyone's wordle was different and incredibly positive. We already knew we were a good team, but the wordles brought it to life. Also on this page is a note from one of my favorite patrons, a patron I am still friends with, even though I've changed branches and positions. She showed up on my first Saturday as a youth services specialist and completely surprised me. "I knew you'd be here on a Saturday," was what she said, and I couldn't have been more surprised and delighted to see her.
Today I am thankful for lots of things. I am thankful Rachel chose a university that's so close. I'm so darn grateful I had the day off yesterday to be a part of the moving-her-into-a-dorm experience (which was a little louder than any of us expected). I'm also thankful for my stack of old journals. A few years from now I'll look back on this dump day filled with Rachel pictures and drawings I've been compiling all morning and remember that was this was the month she spread her wings and took off.
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