Thursday, November 12, 2015

his face didn't cloud with animosity

After much reflection I decided to write about something that happened to me the other day.  I have decided to write about this so I will not forget.  This memory is equal parts thorn and beauty.  

I went to a coffee shop to write.  I waited for the barista for several minutes, but no one came to the counter.  I sat down.  Another customer came in and I very crossly wished him luck.  Just then the barista appeared.  I made a snide comment about him finally showing up and turned my attention back to my laptop.  After taking the customer's order he asked me if he could get me anything.  I told him I didn't want any of his coffee.

I was harsh.  I was mean.  And I was an idiot.  I stomped off and made a rude comment about a bell I think.  I wasn't making any sense because I was overcome with negativity.  He told me to have a good day and this made me even more upset.   

I found another coffee shop and couldn't settle down.  I felt terrible.  What if I messed up his day?  What if I made him cry?  

I bought a couple bags of candy and went back to apologize.  

He was at the counter, and after spotting me, his face didn't cloud with animosity.  

I told him I was sorry and held the candy out.  

He asked if he could have a hug instead and came around the counter.  

Everyone has bad days he said and I said that there was no excuse for my behavior.  He gave me a hug and I gave him the candy.  He told me he was going to enjoy it with his son later and asked me if I wanted a cup of coffee.  

I declined, but told him I was sorry again and left.

As I got into my car I knew that he wasn't ever going to cry because he had zero room for negativity.  

I am writing this not because I want to dwell on my actions.  I am writing this to dwell on his actions.  

I am flawed.  I am growing.  I make mistakes.  I was wrong.  To balance this, I am borrowing a bit of his light and giving it to others.  

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