Thursday, January 1, 2015

That pretty music can use some shit talkin’

When I listen to Classical Loon by Northsound I hear these great conversations between the loons in my mind, and I can understand why some crazy people never make the attempt to hop the fence to normal.

For instance,

Male loon #1 to male loon #2: Hey, what’s that intoxicating sound?
Male loon #2: That, my friend, is the sound of one hot mama loon. 


Loon talking to loon buddy:  Do you hear that?
Loon Buddy: Yes, it sounds a little like a violin being played in a toilet.
First Loon: No, that’s not right.
Loon Buddy: You must be talking about the cello.
First Loon: Stop making shit up.  I think we’re under attack.  I think we’re dealing with aliens bro. 
Loon Buddy: You mean Chopin?
First Loon: You know their name?!?


Loon named Betty: Henrietta, do you hear that?
Loon named Henrietta: (as she stabs her loon cigarette into the remains of her fish lunch) That aint nothing but Jimmy Bob fixing the washer machine.
Betty: No, it’s something else.  It sounds like the washer machine is stuck on the same distress call.
Henrietta: Hurummph! That’s because that piece o shit been stuck on spin.  But Jimmy Bob gonna pop it loose in no time. 

And lastly,

Loon #1 (possibly Betty from a previous conversation): Do you think we should tell the fancy musicians that the pretty music doesn’t hide all that sass of Jimmy Bob’s firey language?
Loon #2 (maybe Henrietta from a previous conversation): That pretty music can use some shit talkin’.

Nope, one more,

Violin to Cello and Piano: What is that sound?
Cello: We’ve been trying to tell you about that string for days.
Violin: No, not that.  It sounds like someone is violating a flute.
Piano: Oh that sound.  Didn’t you know we were chasing loons
Cello: Well, it sounds like somebody already got ‘em. 

No comments:

Post a Comment