10 years of gratitude journaling part 8

When I began adding extra things to my journal, I would often have what I call 'dump days,' which are days when I have more physical material than words. I have these days a few times a month. I'm simply out of words. 

Yesterday was such an emotional day. I'll be able to explain more later, but one of the big things we did yesterday was take Rachel to her university for her move-in day.  It was much more emotionally taxing than I expected it to be.  Foolishly, I had carved out time to write this morning, but when I closed my office door and sat down to write, I ended up dissolving into a puddle tears and snot. I really love that kid.

On days when I'm out of words it's nice to grab my stack of journals and flip through them. Past dump days often get me out of a slump. It helps me realize that, as important as it is to create my own words, the words of others are what keep me going.

This is one of my favorite dump days for a few reasons. In 2013, while I was a clerk at a different library, we had a new manager. One of the first things she did was ask everyone to describe their coworkers. After she collected everyone's answers she created a wordle. Everyone's wordle was different and incredibly positive. We already knew we were a good team, but the wordles brought it to life. Also on this page is a note from one of my favorite patrons, a patron I am still friends with, even though I've changed branches and positions. She showed up on my first Saturday as a youth services specialist and completely surprised me. "I knew you'd be here on a Saturday," was what she said, and I couldn't have been more surprised and delighted to see her.

Today I am thankful for lots of things. I am thankful Rachel chose a university that's so close. I'm so darn grateful I had the day off yesterday to be a part of the moving-her-into-a-dorm experience (which was a little louder than any of us expected). I'm also thankful for my stack of old journals.  A few years from now I'll look back on this dump day filled with Rachel pictures and drawings I've been compiling all morning and remember that was this was the month she spread her wings and took off. 

Scarlet Zen

I started this doodle at the airport while we waited to take off for London. I stitched any time I needed a break from the constant excitement or whenever we waited in lines or for transportation. I stitched most of the 12 hour flight back home, and when my back problems began, I stitched whenever I could sit up. It is a weirdly sentimental piece.

I try to always have a zen project going (collage, drawing, embroidery). For me a zen project is a piece of art that doesn't require any decisions to be made while I work on the piece. I randomly select the color of thread and do the same pattern over and over again. This is how I meditate. I can disappear into a zen project for hours and it helps me clean up some of the clutter in my mind and spirit. 

I particularly enjoy zen embroidery because I use only thread scraps from other projects that I keep in a special box. It's like watching past projects emerge but only through their colors.

it feels a little like losing an arm and also homemade pasta

Rachel is moving out and starting college in just a few days. She will be taking a piece of my heart with her (which I'm hoping she'll bring back whenever she comes home to do laundry).

I'll miss coming home from work to surprises like this:

Since her university is so close I'll probably just call her whenever the kitchen is looking too clean.

Be Patient. The fish will tell you what kind of eyeball it wants.

This friendly fish is my first attempt at beading. I used my go-to split stitch and stitched one bead at a time. I am going to learn some other beading techniques, but I will use the split stitch method again.  

This was also my first attempt at using fabric markers in addition to my chalk pencils. I am definitely never going back to chalk pencils. The fabric markers are easier to use, never need to be sharpened, and stay on the fabric the entire time I'm stitching. I've been so nervous about using something permanent, but that's why I have piles and piles of fabric, right?

The flower design in the fish was inspired by the endpapers of an Indian cookbook I read. I usually sketch my designs a few times on paper before stitching, but occasionally I get too impatient excited and skip the sketching part. This fish was one of those times. Because it's the first time I drew those designs they look a bit different from the endpapers, but I still like them. I will definitely be playing with those endpaper designs a bit more in other projects.

In this progress picture you can see both the chalk and marker if you're not completely distracted by the terrible eyeball. I'll probably go back to my method of not using any kind of marker or chalk to draw the eye and freehand it once I feel like I'm getting close to finishing and the spirit of the animal is coming through. Eyeballs are so tricky!

Favorite July Reads Part 2

Reading Magic by Mem Fox (adult nonfiction)

A few things I loved about Reading Magic: 

1. The seven different things we can do with our voices to keep our listeners engaged (high, low, soft, loud, fast, slow and pausing). This was such a simple tip, but for someone who's constantly testing out the limitations of her voice and has insecurities about trying out different voices, this made sense to me and makes voices easier and fun to try. 

2. Take time with the endings. "Without this drawn-out final line, our listeners will feel an uncomfortable sort of incompleteness." 

3. I know the benefits of pointing out repeated words to children, but I've struggled to do so during my storytimes. Pointing out words in a book is great when parents read to one or two children, but is tough to do during storytime. Fox writes about using magnets for print recognition, which is such a great idea for repeated words that are three or four letters long. I'm excited to try out this magnet idea in my fall preschool storytime!

Ellie's Story by W. Bruce Cameron (juvenile fiction)

The beginning slogged along, but I hung on because of how much I enjoyed Ellie and Maya's characters. Towards the end, when Ellie makes an unexpected rescue, I was completely swept up and unable to take my eyes away from the story. Ellie is such a sweet dog who is serious about her work, which is search and rescue. Her first handler, Jakob is injured in the line of duty, which surprised me. It was definitely an intense moment, but I was more concerned that Ellie would get to continue being a search and rescue dog than I was about Jakob's injury. Ellie's next handler is Maya, a character I instantly connected with. Her positivity, compassion, and determination makes her a strong role model for anyone, but especially kids. My favorite thing about this book is definitely how it's told. I think Cameron does a great job getting into a dog's mind, and Ellie's perspective was even better than Bailey's in the book, "A Dog's Purpose." Spoiler alert - Unlike "A Dog's Purpose," Ellie doesn't die in this book and get reborn again and again as different dogs. I'm actually more than ok with this. Death and reincarnation are heavy topics for kids, and as for myself, I appreciated not crying the whole way through Ellie's Story.

Love the Fur You're In (picture book)

Inspirational advice from our friends at Sesame Street. My favorite words of wisdom? "You're never too old for storytime."

Hands by Lois Ehlert (picture book)

Every single page is filled stunning photographs of objects you use to make things and the cool stuff you can make using them. Some of the pages are even shaped like the objects - scissors, a set of watercolors, gardening gloves. The message in this book - about how Ehlert connects with her parents through the things she makes - is so lovely. I read somewhere that the potholder in this book was made by Ehlert when she was a child. I think it would be really cool if the other objects in this book were also authentic pieces of her childhood.

Favorite July Reads Part 1

July was a great month for reading so this will be a double post.

The Poetry Pharmacy edited by William Sieghart (adult nonfiction)

Though I think Sieghart's prescriptions are lackluster and sometimes cheesy, I still think this is an excellent anthology with poets I'm familiar with (Mary Oliver and Rumi) and poets I haven't heard of (Izumi Shikibu). Shikibu's poem was one of my favorites: "Although the wind blows terribly here, the moonlight also leaks between the roof planks of this ruined house."

Truman by Jean Reidy and Lucy Ruth Cummins (picture book)

A turtle and his girl, it's a beautiful thing. I love how Sarah kisses her finger, touches his shell and whispers, "be brave." The illustrations are bright, cozy, and do a great job showing a house from a turtle's perspective (I felt exactly like a turtle as I stared up at the window, which was so far away). Truman's brave and proud faces were spot on as well. The ending is quite sweet and I couldn't help but do a little 'Yay for Truman' dance.

Leila in Saffron by Rukhsanna Guidroz and illustrated by Dinara Mirtalipova (picture book)

The illustrations are detailed and warm, the message about searching for the best parts of yourself in the similarities you share with your loved ones is beautiful, and Leila's grandma is just about the most adorable picture book grandma ever. My favorite moment is Leila's response to her self-doubt - "Sometimes I'm not sure if I like being me. When I look in a mirror, I see skinny arms and knobby knees...Tonight I'm on the lookout for parts of me that I like..."

The Wall in the Middle of the Book by Jon Agee (picture book)

I was about halfway through this book when I realized the water was rising on one side of the wall. Sneaky sneaky! I had to read it several times to absorb all the details, which is great news. I plan on sharing this with the preschoolers in my storytime this fall. I just know there's going to be at least one kid who notices all the strange things happening. The only downside of this book is that I've got that Johnny Cash song - "Five Feet High and Rising" - stuck in my head.