thunderstorm date and Walk & Read

Sometimes it's totally worth it to go gallivanting around in a thunderstorm.  As long as it involves a certain curly-haired husband and two furry lovelies. 

Before this week's Walk & Read, Robert, the pups, and I visited the park to check it out.  It was Thompson Park in downtown Overland Park, and we enjoyed watching a beautiful thunderstorm roll in.

Josie and Margo (AKA Goper) returned to help set up the Walk & Read.  They did pretty well but managed to slobber all over a small child who didn't seem to upset when the dogs slimed her.

This is the best time of year for flowers.  We've been smelling all of them.  Except for the ones with bees!

mostly smells but there's another bird poem in here too

Check out The Wrath-Bearing Tree for two of my poems, "My childhood smelled like" and "Surprise Dawn."

There is strong evidence that our sense of smell is more closely linked with memory than our other senses.  And this has always been the case for me.  Whether my grandma's lilacs actually soaked up the booze or it was the faint yet constant hum of booze in the air from the bar next door, I'll never know.  But when I smell lilacs I always smell a little booze too and I am right back at my grandma's house listening to the honky tonk music from the bar next door.  

I also loved smelling one of our dog's feet.  Really!  Her name was Surely Not a Cat (Surely for short) and her feet smelled just like fire.  As a kid, it made perfect sense to me.  She ran so fast I was sure her paws could start a fire.  No other dog's feet have ever smelled the same.  When people asked my mom what kind of dog Surely was, my mom said she was "poodle, pom, and terror."  This also made sense to me because she was a little terror, a real beast of a little dog, with so much attitude and spunk.  It took an embarrassing amount of time before I realized my mom was saying, "poodle, pom, and terrier."  

But do I hear that as an adult?  Nope.  I can hear my mom's voice, plain as day, saying, "poodle, pom, and terror."  And I hear that every time I smell fire.

Oh and the smell of the lake!  Nothing beats it.  Every once in a while I catch a whiff of it and there's only happiness with that.  Good feelings galore.  

I also have fond memories of the junkyards my brothers and I frequented with my dad.  I enjoy the smell of oil, grease, tar, mold, and funk, but maybe not the old refrigerator kind.  Mostly because they represent a kind of paradise filled with things to take apart and machines filled with treasure - forgotten coins and circuit boards with diodes in every color.  Oh and I love the smell of drywall and fresh timber thanks to the first house I ever lived in, which was a trailer with an add-on that took all the years I lived in it to complete (at least this is how I remember it).  I rarely mind the noise of construction sites because they bring back all those memories.

I can go on and on and I bet you can too now that I've got you thinking about what your memories smell like.  What kind of smells bring up memories for you?  I hope they're happy ones!

Squishy Tulips

I'm sure there's an explanation for my blog name buried in my 12 years of posting, but I'm not sure how much I wrote about it or where it is if it exists.

When I watched the Movie, What Dreams May Come for the first time it was during a time when I was unbearably alone.  I was just realizing that after years of trying to fit in and win the affection, pride, and love from loved ones and adults I respected, it just wasn't ever going to happen.  It was a crushing and nearly devastating realization that nearly consumed me.  It took a really long time for me to feel comfortable with being alone, not really fitting in anywhere, and surrendering the extraordinary and exhausting effort of trying to make the people I loved and respected feel the same way about me.  

Thankfully I have found a few extraordinary people along the way who have helped me feel more comfortable with myself.  It was just enough support to propel me into a new life.  

Watching What Dreams May Come was a pivotal moment for me.  When I saw the scene where Robin Williams "wakes up" in heaven and he's inside one of his wife's paintings that's still wet, I was completely overcome with so many emotions, but mostly relief, and also, this fragile sense of connection.  For several years when I was a child and teenager several of my dreams were comprised of wet paint.  Most of these dreams were pleasant and I didn't think a whole lot about them until Robin Williams woke up in heaven in a field of flowers created by his wife.  It was the same field of flowers I had seen numerous times while sleeping.  For me, it was a field of tulips in every color.

It didn't matter who wrote the scene or why.  What mattered is that it brought to life something I thought only existed in my mind.  It meant that there were others out there who thought like me and maybe had dreams comprised of wet paint.  More importantly, it meant that I was not alone.

Though I haven't had a dream comprised of wet paint in many years, the name of my blog is a reminder of that special moment when a cheesy Robin Williams movie saved my life.

I've wanted to create an embroidered banner for this blog for a long time, but the task felt too daunting.  Finally, last spring, at the beginning of the pandemic, I took the time to look for the perfect tulips.  I took several pictures and just like magic, one picture stood out.

This is the first piece I've made for myself and I'm not really sure what I'm going to do with it.  If I don't frame it I'll probably take it out every now and then and wonder who else is out there waiting for a sign to keep going.  I know I'm one of many creating those signs.  And I'll keep making them, no matter the response.

Favorite April Reads Part 2

 Amal Unbound by Aisha Saeed (Juvenile Fiction)

Fun fact: I read this for a virtual Tween Book Club program I help facilitate and the kids loved this book.  

Amal is such a lovable character. She has strong relationships with her family and friends and is spunky, smart, and brave. After an infuriatingly unjust encounter with the landlord of her village, he sends Amal to his palace as an indentured servant. I think Saeed does an excellent job introducing the horrifying and ongoing problem of indentured servitude to a younger age group. Though I was angry much of the book, I believed in Amal's resilience and trusted she could flourish in any environment thanks to her strength and the knowledge that her family loved her and was missing and fighting for her. I also appreciated the message that no matter how small we think we are, we still have the power to make things right, and can make the lives of others better through love, listening to others, and investing ourselves in each other's happiness. 

Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury (Adult Nonfiction)

The pages of Zen in the Art of Writing hum with Bradbury's loud enthusiasm for writing. Reading this was a little like exploring the museum of his imagination, opening and closing doors to his stories and ideas. I marked many passages but my favorite moment happens in the essay, "Drunk, and in Charge of a Bicycle." Bradbury writes, "This is the kind of life I've had. Drunk, and in charge of a bicycle...Drunk with life, that is, and not knowing where off to next. But you're on your way before dawn. And the trip? Exactly one half terror, exactly one half exhilaration."

Aggie Morton Mystery Queen series by Marthe Jocelyn

Prior to the Aggie Morton series, the only mysteries I've read are the Boxcar Children series and a couple Lillian Jackson Braun books. I haven’t even read the Agatha Christie series, which this series pulls inspiration from. For whatever reason I just don't gravitate toward mysteries. So I'm not sure how The Body Under the Piano ended up on my to-read list, but I am so incredibly glad it did. 

Aggie Morton is plucky, hilarious, curious, imaginative, and almost annoyingly insistent on finding answers. I say this last part with only praise and admiration. I laughed all the way through this funny mystery and was surprised by the ending and murderer. I was impressed by how each new clue kept me changing my guesses as to who the murderer was. This is coming from a novice mystery reader so keep that in mind. 

I think kids who have a slightly darker sense of humor will love this. The book opens with this paragraph: "I will tell first about making a new friend and save the dead body for later. This follows the traditional rules of storytelling - lull the reader with pleasant scenery and lively dialogue, introduce a few appealing characters, and then - aha! - discover a corpse." It was love at first paragraph for me. And it just kept getting better! 

There were plenty of moments where I laughed out loud. For example, when one of the characters calls the police to report the murder he says, 'A constable is required at the Mermaid Dance Room on Union Street...We've got what you'd call a candidate for the graveyard.'" I also enjoyed when Aggie let her imagination get the best of her and she would let a scene play out in her mind. 

My only concern with this series is the author goes a little too far making light of death and even demonstrates on multiple occasions that death is this exciting thing if it doesn't happen to someone you love. Or at least that's the attitude that reveals itself every now and then. Though the death of Aggie's father, which happened when she was younger, is mentioned in both books in the series, the characters don't express a lot of empathy for the victims. This could have something to do with the time period the series is set in, which is the early 1900s, when deaths were more common. I still love the series despite the lack of empathy expressed by the characters and think it's a great way to initiate a conversation about empathy with your loved ones. Included in both books are drawings of the characters at the beginning of each book and a drawing to start each chapter. The drawings are wonderful, and I would have like even more!

The Barnabus Project by The Fan Brothers (Picture Book)

Barnabus and his friends are failed projects who live below the Perfect Pets shop. When they learn they are going to be recycled they decide to break out of the individual glass jars they live in and help each other escape. The journey to freedom is perilous but through teamwork, friendship, and persistence they find a better life. At the end of the story the Fan brothers let their readers know that there are still struggles ahead, but that the family of imperfect pets can overcome anything when they do it together. The illustrations are incredible. Each page is filled with so much detail and the imperfect pets are all unique and so lovable. The story is also beautifully told and though it's a thick picture book, it's not too wordy. My favorite moment is when the imperfect pets help free each other from their glass jars and their names are all listed - names like Bumble Bear and Bottle Mogs. I couldn't help myself. I read the whole page aloud and then started the book over again and read it aloud. It's one of those books that has it all.

Favorite April Reads Part 1

 I'm a few days late posting my favorite April Reads but there's been a lot going on here.  I started working at the library more beginning this week (fun!) and have been spending a lot of time outside soaking up all the beautiful weather before it gets humid and sticky here.  But there is always time for reading, and I read a lot of great books in April - so many great books this will be two posts.

Sugar in Milk by Thrity Umrigar and illustrated by Khoa Le (Picture Book)

Sugar in Milk is a beautifully illustrated Parsi legend I hadn't heard of prior to reading this. Though it's wordy, the story completely consumed me. I love the line, "And all people speak the language of laughter." At the end of the story the girl decides to keep a packet of sugar in her pocket to remind her to sweeten the lives of others. It's such a great message and a wonderful conversation to share with loved ones.

The Magic of Sleep by Vicky Woodgate (Picture Book - Nonfiction)

Lots of fascinating facts about sleep - everything from the different kinds of sleeping positions and percentage of sleepers who sleep each way to the history of sleep. I enjoyed the history, myths, and legends chapter the most. I learned that the Aboriginal people of Australia believe dreaming is when past, present, and future coexist. I really enjoyed the layout of this book. The information is concise and interesting and though there are a lot of illustrations, this isn't one of those fact books that's so cluttered you have a headache after reading two pages. The illustrations of the cat throughout the book are adorable, especially on the pages listing jobs where people stay up at night - who doesn't love an astronaut kitty? I think I enjoyed the illustrations of the cat just as much as learning all about sleep!

The Boy and the Gorilla by Jackie Azúa Kramer and illustrated by Cindy Derby (Picture Book)

A strange but important story about a boy who confides in a gorilla who appears after his mom dies. The gorilla's true identity is hazy and out-of-focus like the illustrations, which mimic the boy's feelings. The illustrations are really something else. It's as if the boy's grief has come alive through all of his surroundings. The grief, though consuming, is flecked with red, which symbolizes both his mother's presence and possibly joy or hope for the future. These are just my interpretations though. I think each reader will walk away with different experiences based on their own journeys through grief. I think this is a great read for any child who has questions after the loss of a loved one and needs the comfort of a wise and lovable gorilla.

The Hike by Alison Farrell (Picture Book)

The moment I saw the Mary Oliver poster on the first page of this book I knew it was going to be an excellent read. Along with their dog, three kids set out on a hike full of surprises, beauty, and wildlife. One of the kids, Wren, keeps a sketchbook of everything they see on their hiking adventure. In addition to the story, each page is packed with the names of many things you would see in the woods if you're lucky (everything from glacial striations on a rock to a banana slug). The illustrations are beautiful and even though Farrell has packed both a story and a lot of information into such a short picture book, it is completely absorbing and not cluttered at all. Wren's sketchbook at the end was another favorite moment for me. I think Wren's sketchbook will encourage lots of young readers to create their own nature journals if they haven't already. There's also another poetry reference - Richard Wilbur's Barred Owl poem - on the very first page of Wren's sketchbook, which makes my heart so happy. One barred owl is asking, "Who Cooks for you? Who Cooks for you?" while his owl buddies are wondering why she keeps asking because no one ever cooks for them. I'm sure there are other hidden treasures in this book, and I can't wait to find them each time I pick up this book to reread it. If you are looking for a book you can stare at for hours or one where you find something different each time you read it, this is the book for you.

Turkey Vulture and his friend, Mauve Chair (who is really just the embodiment of David Attenborough)

I have been working on this turkey vulture so long she is almost real to me.  I've caught myself talking to her a few times! Too much paint and glue fumes and not enough tea breaks.  

Just like a collage, this piece came to me in pieces.  First, I saw a vulture in my neighborhood, which is crazy because I've never seen one.  I live in the suburbs and vultures just don't hang out here.  Then, a few days later, I saw one of the ugliest chairs I've ever seen sitting next to a dumpster. What little upholstery left on the chair was this horrid 90s mauve, and there was just something oddly special about it.  I remember telling Robert, who was walking with me, that we needed to stop and stare at the chair for a minute. That night the chair and vulture were part of a dream that I woke up and hurriedly wrote down.  Unfortunately, it was not poem material. But I wondered if I could capture what the dream was trying to tell me through collage, and I think I did!

 

The collage was originally going to be mostly paper and very little paint.  However, I just couldn't get the paper to recreate what I saw in my dream.  It was that two steps forward and one step backwards kind of work that involves a lot of poking and squishing paper.  It was one of those pieces that required a lot of brain power, but it was also thrilling to see something that only existed in a dream slowly come to life.  Especially since I couldn't draw it very well each time I tried to sketch it.  Drawing is hard!

After the piece was "finished" I painted over every single flower to make them stand out less, which took a lot of time and blending.  I also redid the vulture's beak and spent one fun day working on the chair's flowers. That was definitely my favorite day!  I kept the spirit of the 90s mauve but made a slightly different chair than the real one.  In the dream, the chair was alive and it was really wise.  Only recently was I able to recognize its voice as David Attenborough's voice, which makes a lot of sense. That's why dreams are great, right? 

Now it's time for the vulture to fly away and make room for the next project.