sugar lumps and macaroni and cheese

About once a week I take 20 or 30 minutes to look through old pictures.  It's a necessary indulgence. I've had a great life filled with amazing people, and pictures capture an astounding wealth of memories that sustain me and keep me going.  Whether I'm going through a rocky patch or I'm simply in the mood to celebrate my life, immersing myself in my photo albums, both digital and physical, keep me afloat and fill me with joy.

I've decided to start sharing a few of these journeys with you because it's another way to stay connected to my family and friends and the world.  We can't sit down in person every week, have a cup of tea, and share memories together, but we can still find a way to connect.  

Lately, I've been poring over pictures of my first two sugar lumps, aka my golden retrievers. Bringing two baby goldens into our lives has made me think about the crazy journey I've had with Ella, who is one of my soul mates.  Currently I find the puppies to be exasperating and Robert keeps reminding me how I wanted to get rid of Ella the first two years of her life.  It pains me to admit this, but he's right.  Ella was a total jerk during her puppy phase.  She ate all of our base molding in our last house, never wanted to cuddle with me, and would push Rose out of the way to get whatever she wanted.  But we're a lot alike.  I can be a jerk too and a bit selfish sometimes.  And when I feel prickly or focused the last thing I want to do is cuddle.  Ella is still a jerk sometimes, even in her old age.  But she's also so very tolerant of the puppies and will let me kiss her face now without blowing snot on me in exasperation.  When I wake up in the mornings I lay on her dog pillow with her and curl myself around her while I pet her belly. She would have hated this two years ago but now loves it. 

This picture was taken at our old house in 2012.  I was journaling, and at the time, the dogs were allowed on the couch.  They were freshly shaved, something we don't do anymore, and very wrinkly and precious.  I am wearing a shirt that belonged to my brother, Scott, at some point.  It was bought while he and Mom were on one of the South American treks she used to make.  Those weren't my memories (I have no qualms about borrowing others) but I remember loving their stories when they returned.  I wore that shirt until it had holes in it and sadly tossed it before I started collecting shirts for a t-shirt quilt.  



When I think about Scott or Mom or Rusty I always look at an Arizona album.  The picture below from 2009 is far from perfect, but I love it for a several reasons.  First, you can clearly see the mountains behind me, which is something I associate with Tucson and Oro Valley, where my family lives. Whether you're in the drive thru at McDonalds or on a hike, you can always see the mountains.  I also love this picture because it is clearly after a rainstorm.  When I check the date of the picture I smile because it means that it was during monsoon season, which is a special time of year.  I'm also playing on the backboard with puddles everywhere. This picture confirms that crazy passion I feel for the sport.  I adored the racquet I was playing with, which was a Head and my third racquet (my first was a wooden Chris Evert and my second was a Head that a friend of my family, Bob, carved my initials in) and called it my macaroni and cheese racquet because of the color.  When I began having issues with tennis elbow a few years ago I switched to a Volkl that was supposed to be easier on the elbow.  I haven't had an issue with tennis elbow since the switch, but I'll always have a place in my heart for that macaroni and cheese racquet.  I still have this tennis skirt and wear it all the time. Apparently Adidas is a great brand.

This was taken in 2014 on a different couch.  I was trying to read and like usual, Ella just didn't care. If I sit on the floor with a stack of books right now, she will mosey on over and do exactly the same thing.  For eleven years this dog has been laying all over my books and heart.