Rosie Posie

Last Friday we lost our lovely Rose.

The sudden loss of such a positive and intregral part of our family has been devastating.  

Last Wednesday, the day after we returned from Texas, Rose threw up several times.  This wasn't too concerning because she had a tendency to do this whenever she drank too much water.  Robert was also very sick with the flu. When I woke up Thursday Robert was struggling to breathe so I rushed him to the emergency room. On the way there I realized I hadn't checked on the dogs.  I texted Rachel and she said Ella had been out to potty but couldn't get Rose to stand up.  Rose often struggled to get up because of what we thought were her hips. I dropped Robert off at the emergency room and raced home.  

I couldn't get Rose to stand up.  I've never felt so helpless in my life.  Oddly enough, when I thought of asking for help, the first person that came to mind was our introverted, very unfriendly neighbor.  Thankfully I didn't doubt myself because he helped me carry her to the car without a word. On the way to the vet I felt like I was falling apart.  I called Scott, my brother, and he talked with me and gave me strength.

On my way back to check on Robert, my chest hurt so bad I knew I was in trouble.  Thankfully Robert only had a touch of pneumonia due to complications from the flu and I was able to take him home later that day where we could both rest for a bit.  

When the vet called and told us to pick up Rose, I was so hopeful.  But she needed a sonogram, which our vet didn't have.  We spent one last evening with Rose, who grew increasingly worse.  Robert was still very ill.  I had just caught the flu myself, and we were all trying to grapple with the news that Rose was leaving us.  But I'm glad we were together.  Friday morning Robert and I took Rose to the vet where they did the sonogram of her tummy.  When we found out she had cancer and there was nothing that could be done, Robert's mom picked up Rachel from school, and we all crammed ourselves into the small examining room with Rose to say goodbye.  

I have been mired in negativity the past few days. We were so sick over the weekend I hardly remember anything except grief and pain, and the two blended into one solid lump.  Oddly enough, when I woke up this morning, I knew I was getting better because I could feel the emptiness.

But I got up.  As cheesy as it sounds, Rose wanted everyone to be happy and I've decided I'm going to fake it until I make it.  

Rose lived for the happiness of others.  She knew we loved her unconditionally and was always happy so long as we were happy.  She lived a long life, 11 1/2 years, and spent her last days on a trip where she was cuddled nonstop.  And she must have told Ella not to worry because Ella is handling her absence better than the rest of us.  And I've always trusted Ella.

Dear Rose, here's to 11 years of love, kisses, tug of war, cuddles, fountain flopping, squishy mud, swimming, walks galore, talky box places like the bank, friends aplenty, bedtime, and belly lovins'.

We will love you always, Rose.  You were such a good friend, protector, and beautiful soul.