20 Years

Today it's officially 20 years of shenanigans, adventures, ruffled feathers, goofiness, comfort, squishes, front porch sitting, and love.  We haven't been able to count all the stars or drive any kind of vehicle, Buicks included, to the moon.  So our love keeps going like one never-ending fruit rollup.

We can't say that every minute of our relationship has been perfect.  We are opposites in a lot of ways, which has made things very interesting.  Robert is a lover who wants everyone in his life to always be happy.  If someone isn't happy, it becomes his number one priority to figure out what he can do to help change that.  If I think someone isn't happy or processing big feelings I'm like peace out!  Process that shit and get back to me when you're ready.

One of the things we've worked so hard on in our relationship is to find a balance between these two extremes.  I like space when I'm processing or chewing on things.  Robert likes kumbaya time when he's processing or chewing on things.  If there's one thing we've learned these past twenty years it's how to find a bridge between space and kumbaya time and also understand each other's perspective better.  

There have been times he's given me my space and I've found myself seeking his comfort, and I know there have been times I've been very smushy and loving, and he's wanting that space.  Relationships are work!  And so much communication! 

Robert is the most nurturing soul I've met.  He is unflappable, thoughtful, brilliant, and goofy.  I am like a shrieking pterodactyl of whatever feeling I'm feeling the most.  When I first met him I both fell in love with him and also at the same time, wanted to be more like him.  He's definitely made me a better person and is there for me 100% during the messy parts of my evolution.  I can't speak for him, but over the years his inner shrieking pterodactyl side has definitely been creeping out.  When he giggles, it's one of the best sounds on the planet.  He also sings to the dogs all the time now, and I'm pretty sure I've helped nurture that obnoxiousness.

I'm thrilled I've had this much time with my best friend.  We've had some bumps along the way, lost loved ones who shaped us, and have both been down at the same time a few times (the worst and sometimes later, funniest moments).  But man, we've had so many good moments, always, unanimously agreed on all the big things together, and have had a blast.  I hope we're always together, but even if something happens to one of us, these past 20 years have been the best years of my life.

We've had similar but unusual stories.  We've been the guardians to kids from each side of our families.  As adults we connected with siblings from both sides who we did not grow up with.  We each lost the glue that held our families together, and both times it was the first time and completely knocked us down.  We've renovated too many houses, sometimes together, sometimes together but silently seething.  We've learned any kind of remodel is hard, even if you're just swapping houses that are next door or across the street from each other.  We both have had the best people come and go in our lives, sometimes holding onto them for dear life, and sometimes letting go.  

I am thankful every day I wake up and he's still here and all mine.  And I know he feels the same way about me (he sings me songs too).