Please welcome the newest member of our family...

She is still too young to come home with us, but we met her for the first time on Sunday.  She doesn't have a name yet!  I'm going to call her Nugget until we figure out the best name for her.   

Rosie Posie was born on the same day as Robert's grandma, Carolyne.

Miss Nugget was born on my grandma's birthday!

She will officially be coming home with us at the beginning of September!

Stay tuned for an abundance of adorable puppy pictures beginning in September.

you never know when a conversation about Disney princesses will take a sinister turn

This morning a pair of sisters approached the desk and asked for stickers. They took their time and while they sorted through the stickers, Big Sister talked about how she was starting kindergarten soon. Big Sister also talked about how they were wearing their braids like princesses, and so naturally we had a lively discussion about Disney princesses.

A boy approached the desk and asked for the Peter Rabbit movie, and I explained to him, that because the movie was popular, all our copies were checked out.  I then asked if he wanted me to place a hold for him. He nodded his head and, as he walked away, Big Sister abandoned the stickers, leaned in close and asked, "Do you know what happens to bunnies?" 

Before I could answer she made a chopping motion with her hands and shouted, "we eat the bunnies!"

I was too flabbergasted to say anything.

"Do you know what happens to old chickens?" Again she made the chopping motion.  "We eat the old chickens."

Little Sister shouted the word, "egg," which lit Big Sister's face with glee. "Yes," she shouted rather manically. "We eat their babies!"

At this point I attempted to quiet them some because the surrounding children looked horrified didn't look too thrilled with this conversation.

After asking Big Sister to quiet down, she leaned even closer and whispered, "do you want to know what happens to old ducks?"

Thankfully their mother came rushing over, ready to print her document. Or it's possible she heard their joyful shouting about eating babies.

on a scale of wonderful to shit

Saturday night Robert, Rachel and I went for a moonlight bike ride.  The ride began at 10 pm and there were about 600-700 people riding.  I saw babies in those adorable carts that are pulled behind their parent's bikes and I saw ancient bicyclists as well.  So there were definitely all ages, all skill levels, and a lot of people.

The first fifteen minutes were ok. I was vaguely enjoying all the decorated bicyclists but already feeling a bit overwhelmed by the crowds.  It wasn't staggered very well.  We were somewhere in the middle, and as the ride progressed, I began having difficulty breathing and I could feel my heart pounding everywhere.  There weren't any rules. The slower people did not stay to the right, most kids hadn't learned bicycling etiquette and were zinging everywhere.  It was dark with a few streetlights and I could see hundreds of shadows looming over me as the bicyclists from behind overtook me.  I lost track of Rachel and Robert and knew if I slowed down I may be run over.  Because of my increasing panic I also knew I was losing my ability to react fast.  I was near tears and shaking so bad my knees were clanking against my frame.

I crested a hill and to my absolute horror, saw several bicyclists on the ground, including a dad who had one of those fancy baby carts.  I cycled around them and immediately got my ass off the ride (there were already a lot of people helping the injured bicyclists and ambulances on the way).

The most exciting part of the trip - a jog through a local cave - was just ahead, but I couldn't go on. Robert, who was somewhere behind me, had my phone so I decided that, because it was only six miles into the ride, I would just hoof it back through the ditches. My heart was beating so fast I was paralyzed for a moment.  But after just seconds I recovered and began my walk.  I kept expecting to see Robert or Rachel as I made my way back, but it was too dark, and I couldn't make out faces.  I was actually relieved I didn't see them, because I wanted them to see the caves and knew they would try to walk back with me if they saw me.  Eventually I saw them on their way back, and because Robert had a flat tire, we called the help wagon to pick us up while Rachel bravely finished the last couple miles on her own. 

I learned later Rachel wrecked her bike but only messed up her handle bars and didn't have any injuries.  She wasn't involved in the nasty pile up I witnessed before throwing in the towel.     

Robert had a positive attitude about the moonlight ride.  On the way home he kept referring to as an "adventure."  I was too exhausted to process how I felt about the ride.  But on Sunday, after a few hours of sleep, my feelings were clearly pointed to cluster f&$@ on a scale of wonderful to shit. 

While I was walking my bike back, I felt assaulted by my thoughts, which alternated between calling myself a loser and applauding my decision.  

Recently when I feel panicky or anxious I've been making an effort to remove myself from whatever situation I'm in, and the results have been awesome.  My brain tends to shut down when I feel panicky or anxious, and I'm either paralyzed and unable to work my way out of it or I get really defensive and go into attack mode.  Mostly I completely freeze up on the outside while my poor heart is thundering around on the inside.  I get sweaty and weepy and probably look as deranged as I feel.  Mostly I only feel this way as I'm falling asleep and am overcome by racing thoughts or in crowded situations, so it's very easy to remove myself from the situation.  But I don't always do it. It's tough to take action when my brain shuts down and I feel paralyzed.  But I've made great strides recently, and Saturday night was an enormous and incredibly empowering step for me.  I was able to deftly remove myself from the situation without impacting others.  I didn't cry as I walked.  My heart rate returned to normal as I deftly maneuvered my bike through ditches and I quickly found a solution to the problem and for the most part, stayed focused on that.  

Though it took most of the day yesterday, I finally realized that it took strength to admit defeat.  

So yes, the ride was a cluster f&$@, but there's a few awesome things that happened.

1. Both Robert and Rachel saw the cave.
2. Rachel wrecked her bike, but she got right back on, even with deformed handlebars and was the only one of us to finish the ride.  What a boss!
3. The ride came with a cool shirt, and I feel like I can wear mine now with a smile on my face.

So yes, Robert, that was quite the adventure.  Let's pass on it next year but definitely try something else.

Scott the Snot, I love you a lot

Today is a very special day.  It's Scott's birthday. Scott is one of my brothers and a person I've looked up to all my life.  I am really missing him today, but thankfully I've been going through old pictures and scanning them so I can look at them any time I want.  

Here are a few of my favorites. 

library moth

This moth enjoyed a peaceful morning at the library, watching everyone come and go with their books.

Everyone oohed and aahed but left him alone.

brothers

This past week has been just been so stinkin' special and silly and momentous.

First, I was surprised with a visit from Jason, my brother who lives in Texas.  We hung out for a few days and had a blast.  

Taking Ella for a wagon ride was my favorite part of the visit.

The day after Jason left, Robert, Rachel, and I flew to Arizona to visit my two brothers who live there, Scott and Rusty.  We all went to Pinetop, AZ for a few days of tomfoolery and relaxation.

This is terrible, but I only took a few pictures on this trip.  I was having so much fun I totally forgot. Thankfully, everyone else took lots of awesome pictures.  

This describes our trip perfectly:



Robert and Rusty couldn't resist an abandoned wagon.



Prep & Pastry. Terrible service but excellent breakfast.  Thrilled to hang out with my brothers.



Horseback riding!!  As I scrolled through dozens of horse pictures to pick out my favorites it was way too tough to narrow it down.  I finally decided on these two because both Rachel and Rusty looked like it was their very first ride and they couldn't wait to get the party started. 





During our ride, one of our guides rescued a baby elk who was stuck in a clump of bushes.  Seriously! The elk was so stunned after the rescue he just stood there while we trotted past.



We spent a couple afternoons on the lake in various watercraft.  Here we have Scott, Autumn, and Kristen flying a kite while kayaking.  Multitasking at its best!



We had two three-person kayaks, two one-person kayaks and a pocket-sized pontoon boat.  We switched spots about twenty times and had a blast. Here is Heather, Izzy, and Rusty.



The last night of our trip Rusty and Robert rigged up a way to take a picture of all of us.  Basically it was a phone inside of a coffee cup that they placed in the rafters.  

From left to right: Heather holding Harper, Izzy, Rusty, Rachel, Robert, me, Scott, and Kristen holding Autumn.



Before we left for the trip Rachel was earnestly wrapping up her essays for her first college application.



And during the trip she submitted her first application.

I'm not sure how I'm supposed to go back to my normal life after that amazing week.  I'm still smiling like a dang fool, high off all that brother love and family time.

Rainbow Spiderweb

My latest embroidery piece was inspired by the endpapers of Charlotte's Web, which was illustrated by Garth Williams.  I've been in love with his spiderweb for as long as I can remember. Recently I realized my favorite thing about Williams' spiderweb is how he captures the dew drops.  I attempted to capture these dew drops with a healthy smattering of french knots.

Garth Williams' spiderweb:

And my spiderweb:

I thoroughly enjoyed making this spiderweb. Though I discovered I couldn't ever get into the mindset of a spider (always gave me the willy nillies), it was a fun piece to make.

June Reads Part 2

A Child's Anthology of Poetry edited by Elizabeth Hauge Sword (juvenile nonfiction)

Includes classics like Field's Wynken, Blynken, and Nod and Frost's Dust of Snow. Also includes a few poems I don't see too often in anthologies like Jarrell's Bats and Kilmer's The House with Nobody in It. This is a unique anthology because there's something for every age group. It ranges from poems for the very young (Wynken, Blynken, and Nod) to very mature poems (Langston Hughes' Mother to Son).

The House that Jane Built by Tanya Lee Stone and illustrated by Kathryn Brown (easy biography)

What a fascinating story about an amazing lady. This is one of those books that makes me want to read more, not just about Jane Addams, but also about the Woman's Peace Party and her tenement houses. The story in this is wonderfully condensed for the audience it's trying to reach and such a tease for anyone wanting more information. I thought the blurb about her in the back was just as excellent as the book.

I Am Enough by Grace Byers and Keturah A. Bobo (picture book)

Simple, powerful, and beautiful message that who we are is who we're meant to be and that's enough. I Am Enough is also one of those books that begs to be read aloud.

I Want to Be in a Scary Story by Sean Taylor and illustrated by Jean Jullien (picture book)

The monster in this story is incredibly adorable and funny. I think this would be a great book for storytimes with two facilitators or one person with two distinct voices. The 'writer' and monster have some incredibly quick and hilarious back-and-forth banter.

The Creativity Project edited by Colby Sharp (juvenile nonfiction)

I LOVE this book. Each story/poem/comic/song etc. is a response beginning with a prompt.  Each prompt and response involves two different children's authors/illustrators (my favorites include Sherman Alexie, Minh Lê, and Chris Grabenstein, who wrote my favorite response). The last forty pages are prompts by each of the contributing authors, but it's up to the reader to write/draw their own responses. It's not only a great way to find new authors/illustrators if you're stuck in a rut or further relish your favorite author/illustrator's brilliance. It's also perfect for a writing workshop, because it's chock full of fun and exciting prompts. 

June Reads Part 1

June was another great month of reading so this will be a double post.

Alex + Ada by Jonathan Luna and Sarah Vaughn (adult graphic)

This is a thought-provoking, addictive series that left me with me with so many questions. I typically like to have more answers than questions when I finish a book/series, but the questions I have after this series are like doors that open to a world I thought I knew, but am now not so sure about. I am blown away by the art in each Alex + Ada. A fine example of Jonathan Luna's artistic brilliance are the blue dots that show up on the temples of characters who are communicating through thoughts. Occasionally Alex, one of the characters who uses both verbal and thought communication, uses both styles of communication in the same panel and it's very always clear which one he's using because of the blue dots on his temples and the speech balloon, which is outlined in blue and completely standalone. There is also a flatness to the art that makes me feel so incredibly empty and lonely, which is what the future is going to feel like if we keep increasing our dependence on technology. I am intrigued by Alex's feelings about Ada. There isn't a connection between them prior to his exploration of her possible sentience and it feels like his decision to explore her sentience is based solely on physical attraction. I wonder if this is Sarah Vaughn and Jonathan Luna's way of asserting that humans will always be animals no matter how much we progress. I also appreciate the strong role android rights play in this series and how it mirrors present concerns in our society.

The Joy of Zentangle by Suzanne McNeill (adult nonfiction)

This took me nearly four months to finish because I tried almost every tangle and took my sweet time doing so. The process of repetitious drawing is very relaxing. There's no pressure to create something perfect, and it gives my mind an opportunity to process all the life stuff. Most often, my completed tangle looked nothing like the tangle in the book. Unlike other crafty things, I didn't fume or get upset about the end result. Instead, I would find a tangle I'd previously drawn, one I wanted to tinker with, and I would draw a fresh tangle from the old tangle, but this time connecting it to the new tangle. I ended up with stacks and stacks of paper, each filled with a lot of blobby splotches of lines, but I have been chopping them up and re-purposing them for my collages and journal projects. I can't wait to slowly make my way through this book again. But not before I try the rest of the zentangle books out there!

Ivy Aberdeen's Letter to the World by Ashley Herring Blake (juvenile fiction)

Ivy is a lovable character who is dealing with four big issues, which is way too many for a twelve-year-old. Ivy's mom recently had twins and she's preoccupied with them. Ivy's also not sure she can trust her older sister anymore and feels like she has no one to talk to. And she really needs to talk to someone because not only does she lose her home in a tornado, she is also growing up and figuring out that she may like girls instead of boys. Then her drawing notebook (she refers to it as her hope chest) is stolen. It's the only thing that survived the tornado and is filled with pictures of girls holding hands. And the person who steals it is tearing out her drawings and leaving them in Ivy's locker with notes encouraging her to talk about her feelings. What a rollercoaster of a story! I really enjoyed the characters, especially Ivy's friends, June and Taryn, who were just as fleshed out as Ivy, and Robin, who owns the inn where Ivy's family stays after they lose their house. Robin's character provides much-needed assurance that everything Ivy is discovering about herself is not only ok, but also normal. At one point Robin tells Ivy, "If a person was questioning all this stuff, that person doesn't have to know all the answers. They don't have to be sure about anything. They don't have to label themselves as anything but a human being if they don't want to." It's definitely one of those moments in a book when an author is trying to send a message to the whole world, and I applaud the author's efforts.

Bow Wow by Judy Reinen (picture book)

This is a silly book with excellent photographs of a bunch of lovely dogs going about their daily business. Perfect for a laugh and perfect for storytime.

Mother Goose Bruce by Ryan T. Higgins (picture book)

I love when a grumpy character is really just a big lovable softie. Bruce, a gourmet chef bear, has some hilarious adventures with the ducklings that hatch from eggs he was planning to eat. I enjoyed the adult humor that popped up here and there - for example, when bear becomes "the victim of mistaken identity," and the outrageous illustrations like taking a shopping cart into the woods for "groceries."